This article has been deemed Radical by our teen team. Check out the rest of our Radical Articles if you like this one!
(This is the accompanying post to the previous one about how to talk to teens.)
Teens love to talk: they love to talk online, on aim, on the phone, at school, after-school, at the mall, in the car, behind their friends back–what on earth are they talking about?…and why does sudden lock-jaw occur when parents are within a five foot radius?
I decided to see what the most popular calls were at a hotline called Teenline (where teens call in to get help from other teenagers) So what are the most popular issues? What do teens today really worry about? And why aren’t these issues brought up more with parents, counselors and teachers who can actually give advice and seek help?
1) Relationships
Teens frequently want to talk to other teens about relationships with parents, siblings, friends and teachers. This is a broad topic I know, but interactions, building relationships and friendships are extremely important to teenagers.
2) Abuse
This includes sexual, physical, verbal and neglect as types of abuse. Many teens call in for ‘friends’ or people they know who are being abused to talk about what abuse actually means. Frequently, teens want to know where is the line between parents who are yelling and verbal abuse? What are the laws on spanking children?
3) Sex
Despite the attempts of many school health classes, teens have lots of questions about pregnancy, condoms, abstinence and oral sex.
4) Drugs and Alcohol
Issues with addiction and parties come up for teens when they know of friends who might be dealing or using drugs.
5) Suicide
Unfortunately, a great number of teens think, worry about or know someone who is considering suicide. Many times teens feel isolated and alone and need someone to talk to, but do not know where to turn when they might get in trouble or have to divulge secrets they are not ready to tell.
Surprisingly, Teenline gets an equal number of male and female callers. All kinds of teens today are dealing with these issues, not just girls, not just poor kids, not just rich kids, not just kids in private school…everyone is dealing with these important, and sometimes very serious issues.
For parents, maybe you are wondering—why your teen does not talk to you about these issues. Teens feel uncomfortable talking to adults because they feel they will not understand what is going on for them today, they are afraid they will get in trouble and worry that they will be judged.
Therefore, it is important for adults to be aware that even though teens might not act like drugs or sex is a big deal to them, they do actually worry about these issues.
Be sure to check out the accompanying post to this one “Three Ways Parents Can Get Teens to Talk”, to get your teens to feel comfortable talking to you about these issues.
If you like this article, read our other Radical Parenting Articles. If you are really inspired, think about taking the Radical Parenting Pledge..are you radical enough?
Supporters
Substance abuse can be dealt with through drug addiction treatment provided in rehab centers; though often at a large expense to parents.
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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Scaremongering at its finest. WE DO NOT THINK ABOUT SUICIDE. At 17, I assume I am still eligible for teenager status?
I am sick of people who are NOT teenagers, with no evidence to back up their claims, telling the world that teenagers are all thinking about suicide. Nor do we all think about drugs and alcohol.
God, I was going to right some intelligent and profound argument, but what’s the point? You can never make someone think they’re wrong when they think they’re right. It’s just impossible.
hi ashley
Actually suicide is the fifth most popular call that Teenline gets. I was actually surprised too, because I did and do not have any teens friends who have thought about suicide. Yet, this hotline which has only teen callers gets many many calls from teens who want to kill themselves. I couldnt believe it, they get more about suicide then cutting, eating disorders and even school combined. So I agree with you that I do not know anyone, but shockingly–and unfortunately the statistics say differently.
Sorry to say that doesn’t prove anything. Of course a lot of the people that call this Teenline are considering suicide. Where else can you go for that kind of discussion, but the fact is that that’s only a popular topic among people who call in. Every other teen that didn’t call in isn’t thinking about suicide.
absolutely right, many of the other teens that called in were dealing with relationships issues, abuse, drugs and alcohol while never thinking about or considering suicide. The point of the article is not to scare adults, nor is it to argue that the every teen thinks of suicide. I am sorry if it was misinterpreted as that, and readily point out that not every teenager is thinking of suicide, but there are enough calls and attempts for people to be aware of it as an issue for some teens.
I simply want to emphasize the point that teenagers are considering many aspects of their lives in private and may not be opening up to adults around them. Parents need to take note of this and try to keep an open relationship so if teens are feeling upset they have someone to talk to without breaking the teen’s privacy.
Teenline statistics are not representative of teens across the country, nor does the author claim them to be. If you don’t think teen suicide is a serious issue however, you are deluding yourself. If you don’t like Teenline statistics, lets see was the National Institute for Mental Health has to say shall we?
- Suicide is the third leading cause of death among each of the following age groups: 10-14, 15-19, 20-24.
- Four times as many males in the lower two age group died by suicide than did females, and six time more males in the last age group than females.
You can see more details here: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-in-the-us-statistics-and-prevention.shtml#children
Certainly no one is suggesting every teen thinks about suicide. But to claim no teens think about suicide, or even every teen that does not call Teenline, is equally absurd and naive. Thank goodness you and your friends don’t contemplate suicide. But don’t think you are representative of the national population either.
Of course this is what you would get out of a TeenHELP line. That’s the reason you go and talk to them. It’s for HELP! You wouldn’t go call Teenline to talk about what you were going to do Saturday night, would you? No.
And while I know that Suicide, drugs, abuse..things like that are pretty serious, it’s not all that we worry about. As a teenager myself, I can honestly tell you that Abuse, Sex, Drugs and Alcohol, and Suicide rarely ever cross my mind.
“as a teenager myself, I can honestly tell you that Abuse, Sex, Drugs and Alcohol, and Suicide rarely ever cross my mind”
chrissie: this is the best thing anyone has posted so far, it is great to hear that many teens are not thinking of these things!
Maybe a majority of teens are not considering suicide, and maybe the stats are higher on a teen helpline. But as a high-schooler, a freshman at my school commited suicide. And that school year it was on my mind every day. My step-brother also just commited suicide. Now, try and tell me that suicide isn’t on the minds of his closest friends and especially on the mind of his younger sister, who now has to go to school every day and NOT see her brother.
Maybe you don’t think about it Ashley. But teenagers do. Maybe not a majority. But a good number do. And even if one teenager is thinking about it, that is enough to be concerned.
im 14 yrs old and have thought of sucide a number of times . ive thought of taking a overdose on paractmol n ive even wrote a sucide note
and i might even do it, if things keep up in this stupid life
I was concerned for “annoymous” and I just want to give him some hope – every day brings a chance for new beginnings. Don’t give up on this “stupid life” – go out and give and live!!
One more note for annoymous – I just found this and thought it was beautiful!!
” Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities, Yesterday and Tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.Therefore, seize Today. Carpe diem. Use what you have learned from Yesterday, remember what you hope for Tomorrow, and make Today the best possible day. Today only comes once”
Anonymous
I am so sorry you are having a tough time right now, I totally understand really low points and feeling like there is no hope. You are not alone in this and might help to talk to someone, even if you are not comfortable talking to your parents (which I really understand) there are a lot of hotlines you can call and talk to other teens about it, or you can even chat with them via aim? here are some ideas,
Just be kind to yourself and realize you are not alone!
http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html
http://www.suicide.org/teen-suicide-and-youth-suicide.html
and I used to chat with the kids at teenline a lot when I was going through rough times when I was younger, they are really cool and listen, you can call or just chat online and they will listen (even my 16 year old sister works there and I talked to her about you, she said to call she would love to talk!)
http://www.teenlineonline.org/
I was suicidal in my teenage years. On one occasion I wrestled with my older brother and sister over a gun that they took away from me. In my early twenties I used a car and drove it into an enbankment to only hurt my shoulder in that accident. I am glad to-day that the Lord had mercy on me in my ignorance, because had I suceeded I would of had no hope of eternity. Since about thirty two years ago the Lord saved me and gave me life to live to the fulness, with peace and hope and love and joy that is unspeakable and full of the glory of God through Jesus Christ my Lord.
I am so sorry that you struggled so much, and am very happy you were able to find something to pull you back to life and to hope.
It’s all too often that we try to look to ourselves or to people around us for the solutions to what perplexes us. This isn’t a teenage malady. It will continue into adulthood. If we seek after Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior then we will be assured of two things: grace and peace while here and eternal salvation after this earthly life is over.
Psalm 138
So glad to hear about Teenline I will pass it on to our readers.
teens ttoday are so diverse and different from eachother. things in this world today can cause so much confusion to teens. but the world is beautiful and not something to give up on. live life to love life and enjoy your time here.
I do agree with everything everyone has said. Yes teens think about suicide. Not everyone of them but of course they are some with serious cases.
Now what I do know is that the teens that call those helplines of course are going to call for the issues that these helplines advertise you to call for.
What I think teens need is other helplines. Family Helplines… Sex Related helplines…Trying-To-Firgure-Out-Your-Future Helplines.
And to be frank with you. I’m turning 16 and probably one of the biggest topics and definitely higher than suicide, is sex. It’s happening alot and everyday, teen girls values on chastity get lower and lower. It seems like not such a big deal anymore. And everyone who I’ve talked to that has had sex says, “It’s totally over-rated, and nothing special.”
And of course, it’s not only sexual intercourse we’re talking about. Boys and dating and relationships and the mostly the How-To’s in general. I know if there was a helpline for all those things, me and my friends would call it.
Why wouldn’t I call a 24 hour helpline before going on a date and didn’t know what to wear, or what to do, how far to go..yada yada…
plz can u help i need help to get through being depressed all the time because i dont know wat to do so can you plz help me because i am depressed all the time help me plz!!!!!!!!!!
Tiffany
You should go talk to someone! Anyone, if you do not want to talk to your parents, go to a counselor, an older sibling, an uncle, someone who can be there with you so you do not feel so alone. Sometimes depression is a chemical thing and you might just need to see a doctor, do not suffer alone, there are people who can help,
Vanessa
diz really helped me a lot thanx u rock n i will always member diz i promice my whole life
n ya teens need to stop thinking bout sex cuz dat ruence ur life…….
I think sex is definetely a worry for teens. But it comes alongside a lot of other things, like exams and friends, and weight and appearance! especially, and what to wear on saturday night, and money, and our futures, and whether the lads are driving too fast, and whether i’ll kill someone driving around in my car.
Suicide and drugs and alcohol are out there…but i dont think theyre the most common worry, or the ones that we think about most. I have more friends with eating disorders than who are contemplating/have attempted suicide.
i think maybe it would be helpful to have some kind of open questionnaire, to get a more balanced view of worries, than simply looking on a teen helpline. Purely because…i wouldn’t ring a helpline about what to wear on a saturday night. In fact, i dont think i’d ring a helpline full stop.
I agree with Jasmine there are alot of things that come befor those extreems. sure some poeple think about suicide but thats just one part i think death in general is a worry. I know alot of people who worry about there school work and not doing/understanding there homework, another is how to dress,
you can’t dress to bold or your attention seeking,
you can’t wear to much black or your going emo/goth
can’t wear to lose of a shirt or your a loswer and you deff can’t wear a shirt thats too tight and your a slut… the list goes on and on…
so ya there are simpler worries on teens minds.
I agree with stevie because teens dont always think about killing themselves they also think about wat they their going to wear whos their next boyfriend or girl friend is and who is the next person to gossip about .Besides all of that before you want to commit suicide something has to happen to make them fell that way to want to kill themselves.