What Would America’s Next Top Mommy Look Like?

How much do you love/hate Tyra?

As I watch VH1 America’s Next Top Model marathons, I cannot help but think why we are not honoring Mommy’s everywhere.

This is just for fun.  I wish I had the ability to run an America’s Next Top Mommy TV show.  If I could, here is what it would look like in Vanessa-trying-to-be-funny-fantasy-land:

1. America’s Next Top Model: “I have two beautiful girls standing before me…”

America’s Next Top Mommy: “I have two super-delegating mommies standing before me…”

2. “America’s Next Top Model will win a cover shoot with Seventeen magazine, a contract with Ford Models…”

America’s Next Top Mommy will win a brand new minivan and a Costco-unlimited card for life, a pre-paid nanny for a year…”

3. America’s Next Top Model Judge= Nigel (HOTTTT former model turned photographer)

America’s Next Top Mommy Judge= Brad Pitt (HOTTTT former single man turned Daddy of 6)

4. America’s Next Top Model Tyrant= Tyra

America’s Next Top Mommy Tyrant= Martha Stewart   (you saw that one coming)

5. America’s Next Top Model Androgynous Judge= Miss J

America’s Next Top Mommy Androgynous Judge= Michael Jackson  (I mean duh, if he doesn’t get Dad of the Year, I don’t know who will)

6. America’s Next Top Model Contest= Runway Walk with Platform Heels and a leather mini-skirt

America’s Next Top Mommy Contest= Balancing Toddler Walk with stroller, twin babies and a crying toddler while wearing a bathing suit around a wet poolside.

7. America’s Next Top Model Contest= Mad dash to pick out and put-on make-up, find a stylish outfit, and do hair for a red carpet event in under five minutes.

America’s Next Top Mommy Contest= Mad dash to find parking in a crowded supermarket lot, strap your kid into a cart, get all of the food for dinner during peak grocery time all under 5 minutes.

8. America’s Next Top Model Panel Critique: “This week at the photo shoot you were lacking in energy and your body movements were awkward, Mr. J said you were hard to direct and seemed lifeless”

America’s Next Top Mommy Panel Critique: “This week at the PTA meeting you seemed exhausted and disorganized when you presented the budget for the magazine drive, Ms Rachel Ray said your recipes were tasteless and unhealthy for the toddler dinner plan.”

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