Is Your Kid a Toasty or a Teacup? Why Kids Burn-Out or Break

I have written about how to handle school burnout before.  I have also explained the new phenomenon I like to call Teacup parenting, where parents seem to handle their kids with extreme care and as if they will break any second.

These teacup kids get to college and have never had anything go wrong in their entire life and they have a break down when they don’t get a teacher they want or the cafeteria stops making turkey strips (true story).

Maybe your kid isn’t a teacup, they have been through some cliquey times or been bullied a little and won’t break when they experience their first let down.  The other extreme that many of my friends fell into (this was me) are toasty’s.

I was a toasty.  I didn’t feel like I was going to break when I got to college, but I was so tired of academic pressure, tests and surly teachers that I was holding my breath until graduation.  A toasty is a kid who is so burnt-out from high school that they get to college exhausted and they cannot enjoy it.

Here are some tips on how to make sure your kid does not become a teacup or a toasty.

1. Talk to them about this phenomenon
It is really important for them to be aware of this trend and that if they are feeling this way, it is normal.

2. Ask them which one they are
If they say neither—great, congrats to you! They probably have great insight into what is plaguing them.  Awareness is the first step to stopping a negative pattern.

3. Find Out Their Expectations
Whether they are a toasty (burnt-out) or a teacup (extra delicate) find out what they are expecting to get out of college or being on their own.  Make sure expectations are realistic, this can help prepare them mentally for a new school year or a new life phase.
No matter what keep the communication open and make sure they are aware of this new trend.  As long as they are being realistic about their goals and habits, they will be set to have a happy college and school-ear experience.

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