10 Steps Towards Building Your Self-Esteem

by Alia, who is a 13 year-old from Nebraska. She loves to play the Acoustic guitar and, wants to be famous musician and a famous actor in Hollywood.  She is one of my fabulous teen interns!

Are you the kind of teen who has a hard time excepting complements? Or you don’t exactly like it when people call you pretty or hot and you think the complete opposite? Well, do you ever stop to wonder why they give you those complements? Now, I know your probably thinking, “They just say that to make me feel good,” but seriously, think about it. Why would they lie about you being pretty or handsome (in teen language: Hot). 

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, they could be telling the truth?! OK, well, if your still not convinced let me give you the 10 major ways to build your self-esteem.  But first I would like to tell you a story about myself and how I have learned to raise my own self-esteem!  

I have to admit life as a teenager is very difficult! I think that’s something that we can all agree on. You know the peer pressure, the drugs, the alcohol, the relationships, and everything else that comes along with our age. The one thing that I’ve noticed a lot more in teens these days is how much we care about our image. Sadly, I am also speaking for myself and not just other teens. When I entered junior high that’s when I really became self-conscious. I was always worrying about what people thought about the way my hair looked or the way I dressed. 

I would wake up at 4:50 a.m. in the morning just so I could pick out the right clothes, do my makeup just right, and to have my hair in the perfected way that I wanted it! I know, ridiculous right?! But that’s just how self-conscious I was. I think most of that came from what I thought of my other friends too. I always thought that all of them were so pretty and I was not so much the “ugly duckling,” but the not so pretty one of the bunch. Like the good friends that they are, they always told me that I was completely wrong about what I thought of myself, but to my knowledge all I heard were their words going through one ear and out the other. Then one day, I began to realize that all along I knew that I was pretty, it was only when I went to school was when I began to put myself down.

I had started to put the facts together. When I was satisfied with how I looked before I had gone to school with the perfect hair, just the right shade of makeup, and the outfit that I thought I looked good in, I was perfectly fine. I realized that the only reason I was downing myself was because I was consistently comparing myself to other teen girls.

One day I decided to try something new. I decided to simply look the way I wanted to look and stand proud. I blocked out what everyone thought of me and I just started being myself. By the end of the year I came to find out that life was a lot better when I showed my true colors!  As you can see, of course it took some time, but in the end everything turned out to be just fine. Are you convinced now?

Here are my ten steps towards building your self-esteem that helped me start to build mine!

1. Always remember that you are you and that will never change

2. Remember that you deserve to feel as good as you want to feel

3. Remember that in the inside you are a strong person who knows what they want and will do anything to get it

4. Be confident

5. Hold your head up and be an independent person

6. Instead of focusing an all the negative things about yourself, start to focus on the things that make you feel happy about yourself (ex: what you like to where,  your fave hobby, etc.)

7. Be happy with who you are

8. DO NOT EVER try to be somebody your not

9. Enjoy the teenage years while you have them because before you know they’ll be gone

10. Enjoy your life!!!

No Responses to “10 Steps Towards Building Your Self-Esteem”

  1. Debra
    July 8, 2008 at 6:31 am #

    I love the article. I work with teenage girls on self-esteem, and the biggest hurdle is just realizing you are you, and that’s a good thing. Confidence is what it is all about. It’s funny, it doesn’t matter what you wear, or what you look like, if you do it with confidence and you feel good about you, nothing else matters. We shine from the inside, the cloths we wear have nothing to do with how we really look.

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