Ode to The Internet (My Husband) The Blog (My Baby) [Humor]

Sometimes I feel like I have a relationship with the Internet and my blog, I feel guilt when I do not check in enough, want it to succeed, use it as an emotional outlet…here is my Ode for kicks.

It was lust at first site.
I first saw him across the room
He was working with someone else
I knew I had to have him

I went over and introduced myself, took a sneak peak
I knew I wasn’t allowed to see him and definitely, not able to talk to him
He was scandalous, confusing and dangerous
Yet, late at night I brought him home
Snuck him into my room
Turned him on

I was head over heels, infatuated with my new love
We officially started our relationship in secret
We hung out every night, chatted, researched together
Then he started hanging out with me and my friends
We all loved him.

I even met other people through him, older people
He took me around the world and showed me all kinds of new things
I was obsessed
I couldn’t get enough and constantly snuck into my room to talk to him.

My parents found out, they were furious.
Told me he wasn’t good for me,
That he had bad morals and he let me hang out with all the wrong people
I didn’t care, Once I had him I could never go back

Our relationship quickly escalated
I was in love, I became dependent
I couldn’t drive without talking to him
I couldn’t eat without checking with him first
He even affected my school work,
I did all of my paper research with him, skipping the library all together.

Then, I got pregnant.
It happened so fast
The pregnancy was rocky, I did a lot of reading and soul searching,
I wrote a lot with him
I decided to keep the baby.

We called her blog.

Oh the blog was so cute in the beginning, didn’t make much fuss
Then it got older and it just became more and more work.
I was staying up late into the night
Always feeling pressured that I wasn’t a good enough mom

Someone once told us that blog wasn’t good enough, it was awful
I stuck by my baby, and my husband.
I was married to him at this point, because I knew that there was no turning back.
Blog was a great kid and easy, fun, we played and she started school

School was ok, just some basic SEM and SEO stuff and we got her a tutor.
Adolescence, that was the hard part.
Oh, she rebelled like every other blog, starting bringing in all kinds of people,
Angry commenters, sad commenters—the works.

I pushed blog to succeed
I wanted it to get the best grades
She is finally a grown-up website, now, probably going to meet someone for herself
Maybe one day an investment banker or a newscaster.

For right now, his father the Internet and I just watch her grow and guide her to make the right decisions.

What would I do without meeting the Internet
Without my baby blog.

7 Responses to “Ode to The Internet (My Husband) The Blog (My Baby) [Humor]”

  1. Marni
    August 7, 2008 at 7:57 pm #

    Love this! So funny

  2. Scott
    August 7, 2008 at 7:58 pm #

    This is hilarious! At first I thought you were being serious, then your metaphor made complete sense. Let’s hope you two never get a divorce ;).

  3. A1Mama
    August 8, 2008 at 1:49 pm #

    I love your ode. I only hope Peanut can find a place in your family of blogs and internet–even if only a distant cousin. She (He?) is too adorable. I long for a puppy myself now that my two kids are teens. A papillion mix would be nice…

  4. Vanessa
    August 8, 2008 at 1:53 pm #


    I had way tooo much fun writing my ode lol, so many people tease me for being married to my comp, i decided to play it out.

    It is a she, Peanut is now the queen of the household, she literally stops people in the street. You should totally get one! I think it has made my family relationships better, I swear everyone is so happy around her.

    send me a pic when you do = )

  5. online games for kids
    May 27, 2009 at 3:02 am #

    really love this article.. you really make a great metaphore for internet and blog! promise me you wont get divorce =DD

  6. sandrar
    September 10, 2009 at 5:10 am #

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

  7. Vanessa Van Petten
    September 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm #

    thank you!

    We really appreciate your reading and your input!


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