How to Be the Skinniest Prettiest Girl in School

Every morning I wake up and drowsily check through my website statistics (Google Analytics for you other bloggers).  This can either be a great way to start the day or an awful day to start the day depending on how many hits I got the day before.  Another amazing talent that my web statistics have are the most popular keywords people searched to get to my site.  They usually go something like this:


Mom Blog

Teen Slang

Teens and pot

How to help my teenager

Yet, the other day I was skimming my keywords (I often try to write posts about these keywords because they are the most helpful for my searchers) and saw:


Mom Blog

Teen Slang

How to be the skinniest prettiest girl in school

Advice for moms

What…what was that? How to be the skinniest prettiest girl in school?  Did someone actually type that into Google?  Yes, they did and then they came to my post on girls and body image.  I decided to ignore it thinking it was maybe the title of a movie.  Then a few days later it popped up again and again. Over the next few days I saw different variations of this sentence and then finally….


Best Mom Blogs

Advice for moms

I am actually the prettiest girl in the world, probably.

Teens and alcohol.

This struck me with such a deep and utter sadness.  Here is someone who obviously thinks quite seriously about her looks and her outward appearance, but in that one word: probably.  It says it all, she is so in need of outward acceptance.

I want to give some advice to the girl that is searching this term, and to the parents who want to help their daughters with the ‘est’ issue.  I want to be skinniest, smartest, prettiest.

1. Everyone Wants This

Whoever you think is the ‘most’ of anything at your school or in your life, doesn’t feel like they are.  Everyone has insecurities or feelings of self-consciousness.

2. No One Has This

No one is perfect.  I visit a ton of teens and families.  Often times, they know each other and will mention to me:

Maria: “Oh, Vanessa, I just wish I could be as good in school as Shelley, she always has everything so together, I always just spend time talking on the phone.”

Shelley: “I am feeling so stressed, I didn’t sleep last night to study for the test today and I never have anyone to call when I take a break, none of the girls really want to hang out with me.”

Often times you do not see the truth behind other’s actions or exterior.

3. It Isn’t Always What You Think

How many times have you watched E True Hollywood Story and seen some model talk about how she finally made it to the top of her modeling career and she was still as lonely as when she started.  Being the ‘skinniest’ or the ‘prettiest’ is not always what it seems.

Overall, I want my readers to know that there is a lot of pressure to be the best at what you do, be easy on yourself, be easy on each other.

12 Responses to “How to Be the Skinniest Prettiest Girl in School”

  1. mary
    February 8, 2009 at 10:17 pm #

    my daughter wants to be skinny and pretty like every other girl teenager what should i say to her.

  2. Vanessa Van Petten
    February 9, 2009 at 2:35 pm #

    Hi Mary

    Yes, most girls I am finding feel this way. I would work on getting her self esteem up. The best way to do this is to help her do things that she is good at that can or cannot be looks related. If she is good at music have her do more of that, usually when teens feel good about one area of their lives, it spreads

    God luck,

  3. The Anonymous Teen
    February 18, 2009 at 9:45 am #

    actually that’s not true. It’s the magazines people read. and the way the girls dress. People actually ask others, “are you rich’ before making a friend. The guys look up and down on the girls. trying to figure out if she’s wearing brand name or not. It’s really de-meaning. Yet. i dunno. I can’t agree with it, but do wanna fit in.

    (Btw, im not “the girl” u’ve been observing :P. But to b honest, i did type something like that on google).. I just wanted you to see ‘our’ opinion on this. Secretly, every girl wants to be noticed by the guys, and it’s not so much about self esteem. Most likely the girl who searched this..was looking forward to see what kinda CLOTHES she should wear. lol, i searched, “how to be the ‘it girl'”

  4. Vanessa
    February 18, 2009 at 9:48 am #

    hey thanks a bunch for your feedback on this!


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    August 10, 2009 at 12:41 am #

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  6. Danielle
    October 1, 2009 at 3:01 pm #

    Hi there,
    I completely agree with you, I have the same problem. I have a lot of girls come up to me and say that they are jealous of me because I’m smart and thin and pretty….they don’t see the underlying picture…beneath my smile lies the world of anorexia, bulimia, drugs and self harm…not the most fun I’ve ever had in the world I have to say. It amazes me and worries me that people still seem to admire me eventhough I have all these problems. I don’t want them to look up to me. Even my friends who know about my problems still seem to think I am this super perfect admirable human being…I can tell you that I’m far from that and it’s a shame that people think this, especially as I don’t believe a word that they say and it always comes as a shock to me when they do say anything. I hate the effect I have on other girls. I don’t want to be the role model until I am ‘better’ as it were.
    Thank you for raising this topic, it really is a huge concern in the average schoolgirl’s life,
    Danielle xx

  7. Vanessa Van Petten
    October 2, 2009 at 7:15 am #

    thanks for sharing your story!

    I think it is a huge topic.


  8. abbi
    October 24, 2009 at 9:54 am #

    hey im a 16year old girl and there is this one guy i like and he wants to sleep with me and i really want to but im really embarrassed about my body and somtimes i get jealous of want my friends look like because most of them are skinny and tan but iim white , spotty , weirdly shaped head and average weight but not skinny :( wat should i do ? love abbi

  9. Vanessa Van Petten
    October 30, 2009 at 2:23 pm #

    HI Abbi

    I totally get being embarrassed about your body, I have felt that way too. I find that most men love those differences and if you feel good that can be the most attractive thing. Before you hang out with your friends or with a boy, do something that makes you feel great about yourself, this will help you feel confident.


  10. Anonymous teen
    December 31, 2010 at 5:39 pm #

    ALL teens feel this way, we all want to be skinny and beautiful and perfect and popular, and I actually searched that term. There is nothing wrong with wanting some tips on how to loose some weight or be more pretty. And at schools there is always that one girl who is all of those things and the most popular girl in school. And I know from personal experience that she DOES think that she is perfect, and popular and skinny, untill someone else takes her place, and so it continues.


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