Some of these are just plain gross…and I am sure I did them too.
Disclaimer: These are all total exaggerations and grossly broad statements…you get what I mean.
1. They Say “I will,” but then they don’t
I know, I know the hard stuff is hard to follow through on. But with the easy stuff–come on! Make sure to bring home your planner next time, ok? “I will, I promise.” Next time comes, and no planner. I am going to the bathroom go down and get your mom’s signature on this test, ok? “OK, I will.” I come back from the bathroom and they are still sitting there (doing nothing). I ask, “Did you get the signature, oh, I forgot.” It was only five minutes ago, and you weren’t even doing anything else! GRRRRR.
2. Every pen I have has been ‘borrowed,’ chewed upon, and returned
Teens are like a pen vortex. I swear I buy a pack of pens a week. The problem is they manage to take mine or borrow mine and then chew them to death. Sometimes, the next session they hand be back my knarled on, spittle covered pen and are like, “oh, sorry I took this last time, here it is back.” I am always thinking that it couldn’t be mine.
3. They use question voice inflection when they do not have questions
I have a lot of homework? This is a hard essay? Today was a good day? I am not sure if teens do this because they are unsure of their answers, because they are feeling insecure and want to know what I think or this is just they way they talk. I talked to my mom about this and she says I used to do it too. I always have to remind my teens that they sound like they are asking me a question when they tell me what they think, it makes for very confusing conversation. Anyone else notice this?
4. Tissues are shared…so are coughs
Thank goodness I have a good immune system. When I have a client who has a cold or cough…or even when they are not sick, they leave their tissues everywhere (in my purse, on my chair, in my lap) and do not seem to understand that when they blow their nose and then touch my hand…it’s gross! I have tried to explain this, but they think it is funny.
A note on chewing pens: More than once has a client been chewing on a pen, then waved it around and spread spittle all over me and their homework.
5. They love my purse, and my car, and my phone
I do not answer my phone during clients, but I occasionally will take it out for the calculator or to book another session and you should see their eyes light up. They always want to play with it and look at my texts or contacts…I do not know why. I am not so cool, so I do not know what they expect to find. They also love to look in my purse when I go to the bathroom, I have caught more than one getting out gum or mints or just peeking. I also once had to drop someone off somewhere and she was so so so so so so so so excited to go into my car see my CDs and the books I am reading…I am really not that interesting, and it can be pretty awkward when I have a gushy text from my boyfriend and my fifth grade client gets a hold of my phone. (Think a long chorus of “Vanessa has a boyfriend, Vanessa has a boyfriend”)
I love my teens, but I am going to have to think of some sort of a spittle catcher or purse lock = ).