Friendiversary, Bromances and Non-Sexual Crushes

“I want to be different just like all of my friends.”

Cliques, gangs, posses, groups have all been a big part of teen culture.  But now, more than ever, teens value the group mentality and the ideals of their friends.

Lets look at some of the facts of this culture:

1) Friendiversary

Do you know the first day that you and your best friend became best friends? Many teens do, and they celebrate it just like a real anniversary with a couple.  Friends are celebrating their friendships!

2) Bromance

Don’t you love this? I used this term a lot in college when talking about Fraternity brothers who spent all of their time together as if they were being bromantic.  The guy-guy time is becoming so important its sacred, sensitive and common.

3) NSC

Non-Sexual crush.  I have a NSC on my friend Margo.  She is awesome, I love spending time with her, I get excited when she calls…just like a crush, but I do not want to hook-up with her (sorry margs!).  This is a popular term that defines the idea that friends even can become moderately obsessed with each other.

4) Constant Access

Many teens I know will leave on their ichat videos while they clean their room, do their homework, eat breakfast and will have four of their friend’s rooms on their screen.  Why? Just because.  They like to be able to have constant access into each other’s lives.

5) Cotton Candy Friends

I have thousands of friends on Facebook..I don’t even know who some of them are.  This phenomonen of constant friending gives rise to what I call Cotton Candy friends–very surface and meaningless relationships that leave kids feeling lonely.

6) Friend Dating

I have talked to kids who go on group dates all the time, but do not really have a concept of who is with who.  But, everyone is on a date.  Also it is becoming more and more popular for teens to go to Proms and dances with friends and in big groups.

Overall, this trend is calming my anxiety about the effect of superficial Facebook friending was having on teen social culture.  At least teens are realizing friends are important and celebrating them!

No Responses to “Friendiversary, Bromances and Non-Sexual Crushes”

  1. Jun Loayza
    October 24, 2008 at 11:53 am #

    All these terms are so cute. Even though I don’t relate to them at all, it’s fun to learn what little teens are doing nowadays.

    In High School I was one of those guys who didn’t really have any friends who were girls. The only girls who I had relations with were girls that I have dated or girls who I had crushes on (non-friendship crushes). All this changed when I got to UCLA and joined a Co-ed Business Fraternity. Since the people in their were all my “brothers”, I actually started having friends who were girls. This may sound super dorky, but it felt really good to have a friend who was a girl and not have any sexual feelings toward her.

    Actually, I can relate to #5, the cotton candy friend. I just looked at my Facebook and realized that I actually know most of my friends on there!

    Great post and I look forward to reading more

    Jun Loayza

  2. Vanessa
    October 24, 2008 at 11:54 am #

    hey thanks Jun

    it doesnt sound dorky at all, I felt like a real adult when I had my first friend of the opposite sex that was really just a friend!

    Thanks for reading


  3. catie
    February 12, 2009 at 9:02 pm #

    hey this article is so great! the cotton candy analogies are really great. but there is also a really serious side to this- like you said, we can get lost in the superficiality and forget the different between facebook friends and real friends. Realizing that real friends are people I can keep in touch with without facebook is part of the reason I deleted mine.
    Another thing I really dislike about facebook friending- a lot of people get really caught up in the whole game, almost to an unhealthy degree. A girl I know would make up fake profiles just to have more friends. She would also use the fake people to leave compliments of her own profile, so that she would seem more popular and (she thought) talented and attractive.
    Anyway, just wanted to say I’m glad you’re helping others find the difference! It’s good to maintain a sense of perspective and realize that the people who cyberstalk are not always people who will be there for you.

  4. Vanessa Van Petten
    February 12, 2009 at 10:23 pm #

    Hey Catie

    Thanks for both of your comments on my friends posts! I am so glad you can relate…friendonomics are sooo changing = )

    Thanks for reading



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