Carina is a 16 year-old high school student in Grade 11. She is interested in dancing and acting and in her free time enjoys writing stories, or drawing.
If you’re like my mom, you’re an over protected parent. Now that I’m getting older and making more and more decisions for myself, she’s almost at a standpoint. Suddenly I don’t need her for anything anymore, and am not so dependent on “Mommy”.
An over protected parent never admits to being one, so here’s some significant signs:
Clingage. This is what I like to call attempted desperate acts during late mommy-hood (or daddy-hood). My mom starts to become interested in everything I’m doing and wants to be knowledgeable of what’s “cool”. She starts saying phrases like “That’s Sweet”, and starts watching tv shows like Snoop Dogs FatherHood thinking that she’ll be accepted by her daughter and her friends. Total clingage.
The truth is you don’t have to change, in fact you’re not doing anything horribly wrong. Your just trying to get more involved in your teen’s daily life. Which is great depending on how concentrated this involvement is. The solution is, you just need to let the growing teenagers grow! By just accepting the fact that they are going to leave the house way sooner rather then later, makes the whole process much easier. Before you know it, your son or daughter is off to college, university, moving into an apartment, getting married and having kids of their own. And if you don’t start facing the facts now, how are you ever going to let them leave the house!
It’s hard to admit, but the reality is you have to grow up as well. You proceed on with your life and let them live theirs. It’s like a bird; they have to fly away from the nest some day. I’m not discouraging the idea of getting more involved in your teen’s life. I actually think that’s a great parenting tool that a lot of parents don’t give. We as daughters and sons, are always going to love you as parents, not as our best friend. You don’t have to try to be cool to be accepted, since you already are. Give us a little bit of time as well. “Of course I’d love to go on that road trip to Timbuktu, Mom … just after I go shopping at the mall with my friends.” We’re teens, of course we’re going to pick parties over parents. Doesn’t mean we don’t love you or care about you. Stop being a baby and let these teenagers figure out the harder side of life and make their own mistakes without you being there with a band-aid – unless they ask you for one of course. And no more of this ‘clingage’ thinking that we are growing apart. We’re just growing up.