Ask Miss Cyber Manners

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I am going to be doing a series of posts with Keeping Kids Safe Today author Joyce Jackson! We will be cross posting a series of articles on this topic for the next few weeks. Check out all of our posts here!

With your child online, chances are pretty high, that, if you’ve never talked with your child about online
etiquette, called cyber manners, they are at least a borderline cyberbully, if not a full blown one.

How can I make that statement? I know that many well behaved, even quiet kids, take the liberty to do
and say things online that they would not do face-to-face with other people outside the virtual world.
Even the quietest kids, by their own admission in my classes, text message using the infamous “f-word”
prolifically in each message.

Bad manners or de rigueur online? The debate rages.

No doubt he Wild Wild Internet was born of the things that are purely American: wide open, no holds,
no rules, anything goes. That is still the assumed position for anyone online: grandparents to tweens.
Even accessing adult sites and social networks is based upon the honesty of the user.

If I was a teenager today, I would have at least 5 different online personas with most of them being
nasty, in-your-face individuals. That’s how I was as an angry teen. If my parents knew what I was doing
online, I’m sure they would ground me until I turn 53. My computer would be thrown out and my cell
phone crushed under a cowboy boot.

If you know your child is misbehaving online, what would you do? What is misbehaving online? What
are the rules online and what are good cybermanners?

First, Miss Manners is being replaced with Ms. CyberManners. I like that better. I’m wondering what
she looks like…

Let’s set up some basic cybermanner rules. It’s the best way to take charge of those uncomfortable
cyber-incidents. It’s another way to start to stem the tide of cyberbullies, one cyberbully at a time.

Ms. Cyber Manners Says: send emails and text messages in a way you want to receive them.
Figure that someone will make all of them public. They actually are, and can be easily intercepted (cell
phone air waves) recovered (data) if deleted or cleaned off a computer (firms specialize in this area).

If you’d be embarrassed that your kids, friends or parents would see it, then don’t send it. Don’t even
type it out. One cyber-friend gone sour can easily slip a message to parents, teachers or other adults
that wouldn’t understand.

Yep, pretty wide range of what’s appropriate online and what’s not. However the same basic human
considerations are always number one, whether you use the f-word or not, right? Be kind, considerate,
positive and supportive in any and all communications. If it’s not any of those, walk away, take five,
breathe and let it go. It’s hard, but it’s called “breaking the chain” and most of all, it works.

As for Ms. CyberManners, send her your questions or comments. Maybe we can build a virtual persona
for her.