I visited a school recently on one of my speaking tours and saw something very disturbing…bite marks. You might be thinking, ‘come on, Vanessa, those are called hickeys!’ Oh, there was definitely bite marks on people’s necks. But, there were actually bite marks everywhere on their bodies.
The most common location was on either cheek and on chests right above cleavage. Boys had them on their arms and cheeks. I will be honest, it was a little surreal to see full bite marks on teen’s faces and bodies. Even more interesting was the fact that some of the bite marks did not even seem to be in ‘sexual places’ the upper arms, wrists and calves were also dotted with mini-bruises.
You are probably wondering what I was wondering…why? Of course, I asked them and posed the question to some of my teens, here are some answers:
1) An Action of ‘Care’
The girls said they loved biting their friends and boyrfriends because it showed that they care. For them, it was a real sign of affection and naughtiness all at the same time. When I tried to explain to them that this could be seen as abusive, they said that it is just another form of kissing, but everyone can see it.
2) A Mark of Love
When I asked multiple students why they had these bite marks, they said very proudly that it showed someone cared about them. Is this the new ‘notch in your bedpost?” One male student told me, “if you have bite marks it shows you probably have a girlfriend who likes you so much that she would bite you and show the world she likes you.” Wearing the bite marks shows that someone likes you enough to bite you.
3) Regional
Based on my research, this is purely a regional trend. A few teens had never heard of it and some knew of people who did it in their area. In the areas where it is popular, it is rampant.
4) Pain is Exciting
Some of the teens I spoke with at this High School also mentioned that the pain part of it is exciting. In her own words, “I used to cut, but I knew that was bad, this is another way of feeling the pain, but not doing anything too dangerous.”
5) It is Hardcore, but not Permanent
One of the girls also said that biting is better than piercing because it is not permanent. She also said that it makes her parents angry, but it goes away in a few days and she doesn’t let her friends bite her on her face, neck or chest, so her parents cannot worry that it is ‘sexual’ and therefore she doesn’t get in trouble.
6) Controlling
Another worrisome aspect to this trend that teens hinted at, but did not state directly, is the idea that when you bite someone, they are at your mercy of how hard you go. When you bite someone you have also ‘marked’ them as your ‘territory.’ For teens where control and abuse is an issue, this trend might be a gateway? Might be a precursor? We will have to wait and watch.
As you can see, I left the quotes and observations for you here without judgment, because I do not know the ramifications of this trend and if it will take hold. But, my goal is to bring what I see in the teen community to you so that you can start the conversation in your own communities and with your own teens. This should definitely be a conversation starter with your family.
This post is dedicated to Karen Jashinsky, not because she bites, but because she is a kickass entrepreneur and loves helping teens. Good work Karen!
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In what regions have you seen this?
@ Vanessa
Let’s hope for the rest of us this stays a regional issue.
It sure adds a whole new angle to the phrase “Bite me!”
Smiles,
Stuart
Creator of the Money Mindset Mob.
Enthusiastic believer in independent teens.
California, Pennsylvania, Australia (perth region) and outside Chicago, emails are still coming in about it though…
wow.. it’s totally new for me. it’s very interesting story, even though i dont really like with the fact that biting is a new trend. Lucky me, there’s no such thing around the region where i stay,well as far as i know
That’s absolutley disgusting. We’re not wolves. ‘Pain is exciting’?! That’s just wrong. What’s happening to our world in which God created? I’m sure He’s not enjoying this.
wonderfull…. and another note human bites have the highest rate of infection.. and can lead to blood poisoning.. hoary twilight and true blood and stupid stupid teens.
@rini wolves don’t love bite
even my dogs that nibble ,do just that ,nibble
no breaking of skin
I guess that my “region” is one that practices this… it’s not a trend here, and most people don’t really do it, but a lot of us do.
First off, biting feels good, sexually. Even if it’s not in sexual places. It’s painful, but an exciting pain.
Secondly… it IS a sort of possession, marking territory. “I just bit you; you’re mine.” But biting doesn’t really change anything. It’s not like it denotes ownership; it’s more like partnership.
It’s not really as big of a deal as some make it out to be. It’s like hickeys, for the slightly masochistic or playful set. Less sucking, more teeth, but it’s the same basic thing.
Also, some people seem to think it’s a part of the whole Twilight craze. Well, from what I’ve seen–at least in my area and amongst my friends–it’s nothing like that. Most of us don’t like Twilight and none of us think it makes biting look cool or romantic. It’s less “I vant to suck your bloooohd” and more “Nom nom nom.”