Touching Teens: Hugs, Hand Holding and Non-Sexual Cuddling


A Connecticut Middle School has recently banned touching of any kind.

At first, I thought, what a good thing.  Then, as I ruminated on the article more, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was really a good idea.  I think that physical touch is extremely important.  Here are some discussion points on this issue.  If you have a Radical Parenting Group, this would be a great discussion topic.  Otherwise, consider discussing the implications of this ban with your teens:

Talking Points for Your Teen on Touching

-How do we understand the difference between sexual touch and non-sexual touch?

-How does touch affect friendships? How does it affect relationships?

-Is it healthy to ban touching, when we want our youth to think it is a normal part of life?

-Should middle schoolers be hugging? Should they be cuddling in the hallways? Where do we draw the line?

-If we ban it, will they want to do it more?

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5 Responses to “Touching Teens: Hugs, Hand Holding and Non-Sexual Cuddling”

  1. online games for kids
    May 15, 2009 at 12:41 am #

    the more they ban , the more i want to do it.. that’s what happened for me during high school. around that age, all i know was just about breaking rules just to have fun.. =D
    so personally, i dont think it’s a really good idea to ban anykind of touching.

  2. Rai Shauna Y Martin
    May 21, 2009 at 8:49 am #

    This is an issue i don’t want my kids to have to deal with in the future. I would want to put a stop on the action no matter what they do, but then i think we should let the m cuddle and hug and if it goes too far then take action. just think when you where in middle and high school you had a boyfriend or girlfriend that you cuddled to all the time. this is just something their growing into-what i mean is interacting with other kids and stuff just might help with their social skills and stuff so let them cuddle.

  3. MerrieWay
    June 23, 2009 at 2:10 pm #

    Hugs can heal the soul, give relief from a moment of stress, and just feel good. MerrieWay's happy day includes no less than twelve hugs. If alone I can hug a tree, my pups, myself, a pillow, or even a teddy bear.
    Here's the cincher for the teen hug-types.
    1. A look into each other's eyes before the hug tells all. Are you wanting the same hug? Does one of you want to cuddle and get feely and the other wants an arm shake.

    2. Set your boundaries and don't invade any one else's.

    3. Go for a hug-fest…it's the lonliness buster.

  4. penguin in the rainbow closet
    September 18, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

    I am almost 15 and think a hug is one of the best pleasures in the world. I hug everyone. and how well I know them depends on how we hug. a hug can destroy sorrow. a hug does many things, it keeps you warm in your mommy’s arms when your a baby, it helps the hurt go away when you are six and your daddy hugs you cause you skinned your knee, its comfort from your best friend when you experience your first broken heart and it’s a token of love when you meet ‘the one’. it’s the simplest way to show you care, when someone needs cheering up and you don’t know what to do, a hug can work wonders.
    now in school and offices and public places like that, I can understand not allowing kissing and lots of feeling but a hug is a hug and it’s the perfect action to make someones day worth while.


  1. Decoder - Breaking down teen culture, substance abuse, and parenting » Blog Archive » To Hug or Not To Hug - May 28, 2009

    […] So, what’s your take on all this? By banning hugging, are we making it even harder for the Facebook and Twitter generation to develop genuine human bonds? Or do you think teens right now are creeping into dangerous—or at least uncomfortable—territory? (For more perspective, see what our guest blogger Vanessa has to say here.) […]

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