- Vanessa’s Note: This is from one of our teen writers who has been brave enough to come out on the blog. I hope that our community can show him kindness and support in this new time.
Justin is a 16 year-old from New Orleans. He loves writing and playing guitar with his friends.
My real name is not Justin. I use it to write for the Radical Parenting blog. Only my parents know my pen name on this blog and this note is to them. I am not ready yet to come out to my friends, but feel this is the first step. Vanessa tried to convince me to come out to them in person. But, writing is my element. Writing is my life and I am far more eloquent pen to paper, keys to screen. Plus, I do not know if I could tell them to their faces.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you look forward to my posts on here every week. I wrote about teen suicide and the best teen music. This post is a little different. I am sure you think that there must be another Justin on here. But, Vanessa tells me I am the only one. Just in case you still don’t want to believe it, mom used to make me peanut butter and rice crispies sandwiches.
I am your son and I am gay.
I know this is hard to hear.
I know you must be scared, but I promise you are not more scared than me.
I am sure your mind is racing through all of the questions that I have had for years swimming in my brain before I sleep at night, on the way to semi-formal with Maggie, when you talk about your future grandchildren and when I wonder why I don’t want to kiss a girl.
Is this normal?
Will it pass?
Maybe I could like a girl if I tried harder?
Will I still be able to have children?
Will I be able to get married?
Will people hate me?
Will people still like me?
Will I find my soulmate?
Will I be able to tell my friends?
Why am I ashamed?
I only know the answers to a few of these questions.
I don’t know why me, but it must be to give me courage to stand up for what I believe in.
I think it is normal because I came from you, both of my loving parents and am a good person.
It will not pass.
I don’t think you should ever try hard to like someone. I love my girl friends, but they are and always will be just friends.
Mom, I know you are worried you will now never have grandkids. I do not know for sure, but I think I want kids one day and adoption is an option. Maybe even a better one?
One day I hope I will find someone who loves me just as much as you both do and they will walk down the aisle with me. I cannot promise that he will be wearing a dress, in fact I hope not, but I do promise I will marry the right person, but he will be a man.
People might hate me, I hope it will not be you.
If people do not like me because I am gay, then I do not want them in my life anyways.
I hope I find my soulmate. I have to think, at least now I have narrowed it down to one sex, perhaps my chances will be better. (Dad, that was a joke in your spirit of humor, I hope you can still see it)
One day I will have the courage to tell my friends.
Starting with you, helps me feel less ashamed.
Thank you for all that you have done for me. Accepting my homosexuality has made me happier and more secure and I hope that you can accept who I am.
I am gay and I love you.