Melissa is a 15-year old from Rochester, NY. She enjoys volunteering and singing. Her favorite subject is English language arts because she wants to be a journalist. Melissa is one of our teen writers and also has her own fabulous advice site for teen girls at: http://girlslife143.webs.com, see more advice for girls at her site!
“I am constantly in a fight with my best friend and I am so sick of it. I just don’t want to have to deal with this drama anymore, what should I do?”
Nobody wants to be in a fight with their best friend. Being overwhelmed and depressed is negative for the body. Whenever a new fight happens, ask yourself this question: Why did this start?” Maybe it was gossiping about each other, jealousy or boys. Once you find out the cause, then you can work on how to fix things.
Sometimes without knowing it, we actually attract drama. Girl drama can cause friendships to break apart. Do you find yourself constantly wanting to know about the latest gossip? Or if your friends are in a fight do you find yourself getting in the middle of it? Sometimes drama can make life more interesting, but getting too involved in it just results in more problems and it’s better to just stay out of it. Next time you feel the need to gossip about someone, think before you speak. If you gossip all the time your friend might think you gossip about her when she’s not around. Try talking about more positive things and you’ll gain your friend’s trust! You can avoid a great deal of fights this way.
Competition is another thing that causes fights among teenage girls. For instance, girls compete to be the prettiest, have the best grades and be the best athlete or singer. There are so many different labels girls feel they need to put on themselves. Maybe you’re friends with the top students in your class. They’re super nice, but when it comes to grades you can’t help but be jealous, and you just want to feel like you belong. At the end of the week, you can find yourself in need of a self esteem booster! The solution is to simply have confidence in your self. This applies to everything in life. If you try your best then that should be good enough. It’s not important to always be the best.
If your friend is always jealous of you, then you need to talk with her. First of all, make sure that you are giving her positive feedback, helping her and not bragging. If she still seems to be jealous, then tell her that you don’t think that anything should be a competition between you two, since your friendship is more important. If your friend still doesn’t understand, then its time that you really branch out and make new friends. Friendships often change and that is something that every teenage girl experiences at some point. You may start pursuing different interests and making different friends.
Another common cause of drama is, boys. Do you find that you and your BFF always like the same guy? It isn’t unusual for this to occur, especially if you and your friend are really close. But let’s say every time one of you gets a boyfriend there’s a lot of jealousy going around. You need to start thinking about what’s more important to you, your friend or a guy.
I know sometimes you really want to choose the guy, especially if you really like him. But if he’s breaking you and your friend apart, the process won’t be worth it. It’ll probably seem agonizing at first, but give up the guy. Talk to your friend about your concerns, and maybe you both will come to some sort of an agreement, like neither of you will date him. And hey, maybe next time around because of that nice gesture she might soften up and let you have the guy!
So give yourself a goal to live a drama free life. You’ll realize that you’re much happier this way. Nobody’s perfect and of course you’ll probably get pulled into drama once in a while and that’s okay. Just make sure that it’s not becoming your major focus in life, and people will look up to you for not being a part of all the hype!