5 Messy Teen Sex and Relationship Issues You NEED to Talk to Your Kids About

sex issues to discuss with your teens and tweensWe have written a number of times on the Sex Talk and issues that are happening for young people right now such as teen sex parties, bi-sexuality and more. Today I wanted to bring up a few issues that never quite make the first sex talk because they are a little mature and also never get talked about because they can make parents and kids uncomfortable and, unfortunately come up when it is too late.

Sex Issues to Discuss With Your Teens and Tweens:

1. Date Rape

It is a sad truth that date rape is a common happening at High School and College parties around the world.  I think parents should talk to both boys and girls about what they should do if it happens to them, if they see it happening or if they hear rumors about it.

2. Meeting Significant Others

Parents never seem to talk about this until it is too late.  If you, as a parent, have specific ideas about what you want or do not want for your child’s significant other you should have a discussion with your child.  You also should set-up some boundaries for when you would like to meet them, what is appropriate behavior if your child is dating someone.  Kids often think if they want to date someone they can and will.  While parents have a notion that if their child wants to date someone, they will get to meet the significant other first and approve.  Make sure everyone is on the same page.

3. Restless Virgins

This has been the topic of oh so many Dr Phil and Oprah shows, but I think that parents should talk to both boy and girl teens about the pressure to lose it before senior year/prom/college etc.

4. Female Oral Sex

This one is tricky, but I am going to bring it up.  When I have groups with college girls or even fellow 20 somethings and respecting themselves and their bodies, almost without fail girls talk about the fact that they are ok giving oral sex but are too ’embarrassed’ to receive it from a man.  I think that this speaks to a larger trend in society that girls are meant to give and sets up women for a weak precedent on having mutually enjoyable physical relationships with the men they love. Tactfully, I think it is important for parents or a close family friends adult to talk to older teens and young adults about making sure that when you love someone, pleasure should be mutual.

5. Dating Abuse

We wrote this article called: 7 Facts About Teen Dating Abuse: Smothering and Obsessive Youth I think this is an important trend for parents to be aware of.  Many teen relationships are very obsessive and borderline abusive, here are some facts. I also think that there is a fine line between smothering and abuse that parents and teens should talk about.

6. Masturbation

Yup, I said it.  Masturbation, lets be honest, is a huge part of teenage life.  Teens talk about it, think about it and wonder about it.  Yet, parents never talk about it with them…until they are caught. I wrote this article: Teens and Masturbation:If You Catch Your Child Masturbating An awkward topic to say the least, but something all parents of kids 11 and up NEED TO READ.

Whew, I am glad this post is over.  It has been in my ‘to write’ list forever, but it is so sensitive, I did not want to touch it. I hope this has been helpful and that you might be willing to bring up some of these topics with your kids.

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2 Responses to “5 Messy Teen Sex and Relationship Issues You NEED to Talk to Your Kids About”

  1. Impudent Observer
    March 5, 2010 at 12:39 pm #

    Wow, thank you for being one of few people brave enough to deal frankly not only with sex — which is difficult enough for a parent to do in general — but specifically oral sex and masturbation.
    I’m a 50-something dad of 3 teens — a girl and two boys — and can I ever use your advice.

  2. Impudent Observer
    March 5, 2010 at 12:39 pm #

    Wow, thank you for being one of few people brave enough to deal frankly not only with sex — which is difficult enough for a parent to do in general — but specifically oral sex and masturbation.
    I’m a 50-something dad of 3 teens — a girl and two boys — and can I ever use your advice.

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