Teens and Their View on Sex

Belinda is a 16- year-old from Toronto, ON. She enjoys fashion, writing, and her favorite subject is Drama because she loves creating skits.

SEX! SEX! SEX….. It’s okay to say the word. No one will come after you. Often people, especially teens, are afraid to express how they feel and think about sex. There is a huge misperception of how teens feel and think about sex. Below is some Q&A on subjects related to sex that hopefully clears things up a little bit for both teens and parents.

Why do you think there is so much pressure on teens to have sex?

17 year-old boy

It gets to the point where everyone you know is having sex. It’s an assumption you are too. It’s kind of like the new trend or cool thing to do. So everyone wants to make sure that they’re having sex because they don’t want to be the only one not having sex. It’s like there’s no point to relationships anymore without sex.

16 year-old girl

Having sex with your boyfriend is kind of something you have to do because if you don’t he’ll move on to the next girl. There are plenty of girls out there who are willing to have sex with guys so it’s a security thing for me and a lot of my friends. It’s not embarrassing to be having sex-it’s normal.

Have you, personally, had sex?

18 year-old girl

I’m not having sex yet but I know that a lot of people my age are.

17 year-old boy

I’ve had sex but it was with my girlfriend of two years. She’s the only one so I know my chances of getting STDs are slim and we always make sure we use protection.

16 year-old boy

I haven’t had sex yet.

Do you think teens having sex at a young age later regret that decision?

16 year-old girl

I think that a lot of girls definitely regret having sex because it’s too soon, or it’s not the right guy, or that guy turns out to be a jerk.

17 year-old girl

I think it’s usually girls who regret the decision more than guys, because sex often means more to girls. Some guys don’t even think of it in that emotional sense. It’s more of a physical thing for a lot of guys.

18 year-old boy

Guys don’t really regret having sex unless that girl ends up having an STD or she ends up pregnant.

[What do you think is worse?]

I honestly don’t know. With an STD I could end up dead, and with pregnancy, her parents or even my parents might actually kill me.

Do you talk to your parents about having sex, and if so what’s some of the advice they’ve given you?

16 year-old girl

Well, mostly, they do all the talking. It’s basically about not having sex and what will happen if I come home pregnant. I find it embarrassing to come to my parents with questions because I know they won’t even try to understand what I’m going through and sex is just not something I’m comfortable talking to my parents about.

17 year-old boy

When I turned 16, my dad had a talk with me about responsibility and not making mistakes. Then he gave me a pack of condoms and told me not to make any mistakes. That is the closest I’ve had to `The Birds and the Bees` conversation.

18 year-old girl

I wish that my parents had been cool about me having sex. I’m 18 now, but as a teen I was always worried about having sex. The truth is, most teenagers are having sex. So I think the best thing to do is be open with your kids about sex. I wish that my parents had maybe looked into getting me birth control pills. I think no matter what a lot of parents say, their kids will have sex. So the best thing to do is help them to protect themselves and make sure they don’t make any big mistakes. Personally, I think by the age of 16, teenagers should be able to get a prescription for birth control without their parents knowing.

So, there it is. What I’ve learned from talking to these individuals is that teens are having sex, but that doesn’t mean everyone is. The pressure felt by teens by their peers is a huge one that effects their decisions and their understanding of right and wrong. It’s not easy for teens to talk to their parents about sex and that’s an issue with communication from both sides. Parents strive to make sure their teens have the best lives possible and they don’t want their kids to make life altering decisions or any mistakes, but there comes a point when parents need to somewhat broaden their horizons and realize that teens have a whole lot going on inside of their heads. Some teens have had sex, some are thinking about it, and others are so far from the idea; however, whatever the case is, all these teens need support from their parents.

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One Response to “Teens and Their View on Sex”

  1. Margot Magowan
    January 13, 2010 at 11:27 am #

    I think music videos can do a lot to teach and pressure kids about getting involved in sexuality. Though Taylor Swift seems to be a pretty good role model for girls. I just started a blog rating kids media (books, movies, TV) and products on how empowering they are for girls as a resource for parents. ***SSS*** for stereotyping is the worst rating, because that’s the most dangerous for kids, even if its in the form of a Disney cartoon. ***GGG*** is the highest rating for girl power. I’d love to get your comments. Here’s the link http://margotmagowan.wordpress.com/

    I am a writer and commentator (Salon, Glamour, CNN, FOX); co-founder of the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership, an organziation that trains youngw omen to be leaders and change agents (www.woodhull.org) and a new blogger http://margotmagowan.wordpress.com/

    All best,
    Margot Magowan

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