Advice for Teen Girls Column: Going Through a Breakup

Melissa is a 15-year old from Rochester, NY. She enjoys volunteering and singing. Her favorite subject is English language arts because she wants to be a journalist. Melissa is one of our teen writers and also has her own fabulous advice site for teen girls at:, see more advice for girls at her site!

Breakups: everyone goes through them. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, it’s equally tough. The time it takes to recover varies from person to person, but if you think it’s been long enough, then here are some tips on starting over:

More you- This boy probably took up a lot of your time. When you were bored you texted him to come over, and he was always your first choice. Now, with him out of the picture, it’s actually a good thing. This gives you more time to start exploring things that you like, or picking up hobbies you might’ve dropped while you were in the relationship. Treat yourself to things you love to do. Get involved in activities or volunteer, not only will it help you forget about him, but it is fun too. And who knows, you may meet someone else in the process!

Remember, he’s just a guy- Think of it this way; every break up you go through leads you one step closer to ‘the one’. This might sound kind of cliché, but it’s true. Relationships don’t always work out, and those that don’t are just helping you learn more about yourself and what kind of guys are for you. For example, let’s say you chose the football star that every girl is crazy for. You found out he cheated on you, and you’re devastated. When guys cheat that is extremely rough, but it just shows that you tried it out and it didn’t work, which is okay. Maybe the quieter, less popular ones might be a better choice.

More friend time- It’s not rare that when you get a boyfriend you spend less time with your friends. There’s a new special person in your life and it’s exciting. But sometimes we forget to balance the time we spend with people, and now that you’re single it gives you some time to catch up with your friends! Have a girl’s night out, or just hang out doing what you guys love to do. If you were really hung up about your guy, you might’ve forgotten how much fun it was! Friends are probably the best choice to help you forget.

New way of thinking– Once you get through that first horrid stage of a breakup, you can finally start to let go. Start getting rid of some of those love notes you couldn’t get yourself to throw away, and start telling yourself you’re better without him, because you are! You just have to look at it all as a positive experience, even if it doesn’t feel like one. Every day gets better, and all’s you have to do is wake up each morning and give yourself a goal to think less about him, or to do one of the above suggestions. It’s okay to let go and move on, it’s all part of life and helps you grow as a person.

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One Response to “Advice for Teen Girls Column: Going Through a Breakup”

  1. Ajit
    March 8, 2010 at 3:09 pm #

    Thanks very informative information!

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