It Works Both Ways

Alexandra, from Farmingville, NY, is 17 years old and enjoys helping others. She is extremely motivated and focused and enjoys meeting

new people. She one day hopes to be a psychologist.

always with the talking by sesame ellis

Teen and parent communication is essential to a trusting relationship, as is communication with anyone; a friend, a boyfriend. I’ve, personally, always had an open and honest relationship with my mom, and it’s always kept me out of trouble. But I do know plenty of friends that lie to their parents, and I watch the relationship between them and their parents disintegrate. It’s understandable that each parent has a different way of raising and communicating with their children, but there are essential tools for any parenting technique. In psychology, the three main parenting styles consist of Authoritarian, Permissive or Authoritative. My mom, for instance, is Authoritative, demanding yet responsive. Authoritative parents express unconditional love to their children, and encourage more responsibility and freedom, within well-outlined rules. In contrast, Permissive parents fail to teach their children the consequences of their actions, and show little to no control over their children. Authoritarian parenting, however,  involves too much control, strict rules without flexibility, and exert power over their children. Parents must recognize that not all children are the same, and that rules may need some changing depending on the child.
A lot of teens go out, drink and party, and their parents haven’t a clue where they’re at. My mom always told me, no matter where I am, what kind of situation I was in, I could always call her, at whatever time of the time or day, if I needed her. And I have. I tell her where I’m going, when I’m going, and when I will be home, and especially who I will be with. She’s lenient with my curfew for the most part, and she’s really good at not hounding me with texts and calls all night while I’m out. My one friend really good friend, on the other hand, has a really unstable relationship with her mom. She can never tell when she’s going to let her go out, or yell at her for something she didn’t even do. It’s hard to watch it, because my friend, N, isn’t very honest with her mom, and that only makes the situation worse. Recently, my friend got caught coming home drunk with her friend, and they were both extremely sick throwing up. Her mom grounded her for a month and took away her car, phone and laptop. When I heard the story, I could honestly say I didn’t feel bad for her, because I saw it coming, but she knew it herself that what she did was wrong. I understand N didn’t intend on getting herself into this situation, the lack of communication and trust between her and mom came to a breaking point. I think of it as a lesson learned, and hope she will not only make better decisions, but build a better relationship with her mom.

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