Teen:
- Could you please drop me off at the dance and walk me in?
- Mom, dad this is my new boyfriend he works at Planned Parenthood.
- Dad, I don’t really want a mac, can I get a PC?
- I feel that going to summer school could help improve my performance and educational development.
- Boy: High school sucks, I never should have hooked up with so many girls. Boy 2: Ya, just think of all of the respect you would have from our football coach if you had turned down the hook ups, you would be so much cooler.
- Mom will you please tell me all about how you are doing with your menopausal symptoms?
- I think the reason why everyone respects me so much is because I am so in touch with my feminine side.
- I joined the Math club to get with girls not for like the mathathons. Duh.
- Can we just have some cuddle time later?
Parent:
- I just looked through your sock drawer and was so, so impressed with what I found.
- I am so glad we saw Hannah Montana 2, it really solved the cliff hangers at the end of Hannah Montanna 1
- Please honey, put on the Disney Channel and watch that episode of Kim Possible for the fourth time and tell me what you learned this time.
- Why don’t you do your “Who is your hero?” paper on Kesha?
- Dad: You know what’s really interesting? You, telling me all about how sally got her first period!
- You know what would be great honey? Tonight for our date night lets rewatch old MTV music awards shows and imitate young female pop stars objectifying themselves.
- Is that your new Gothic outfit? Honey, you look fabulous!
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