Real Life “Mean Girls”

Dana is a 15 year old from Hi-nella, NJ. She loves to write and enjoys reading, singing, and shopping. Her goal is to help others through her writing, and bring attention to important topics.
When I was younger, I repetitively watched the movie Mean Girls. I’m sure if you are a teen girl, you’ve watched it countless times or at least heard of it. Mean Girls is a movie that stars Lindsey Lohan and Rachel McAdams. If you’ve ever seen it, you know that it is the dramatization of physical or silent cat fights that underlie in “girl world”. I reluctantly use the word dramatization. When you watch the movie you wonder if our high schools are really centered around the so called queen bees, or if students do categorize other classmates into harsh clique names. Such as the “wanna bees” or even nastier self thought out titles. Well I am here right now to tell you about not just the “queen bees” but every type of real life mean girl there is. I am not trying to scare you, I am trying to prepare you. I will describe them with traits and characteristics just as if they were zoo animals behind glass, because that’s just how they make most people feel; and the truth about each one I have come to realize, and firmly believe from experience.

The “ you know what” Mean Girl:
These types of girls could be called the leader, or are often referred to as “queen bees”. If you’ve ever met one of these girls, you know it immediately. This girl is usually the one walking in the middle of two other girls, and is quick to put someone down. They’re usually sarcastic and “fresh”. This girl is very much a you know what. She is very rude and very disrespectful for other people’s feelings. They don’t care how what they say affects another person, as long as they get a laugh.

The truth about her: This girl is usually talking about someone else or trying to get a laugh because they don’t have anything intelligent or remotely interesting to say. They usually are extremely insubordinate in the class room because they simply cannot do the work. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: they’re nothing with out their followers. Oh you know the ones, the two or three you would think are attached to them if you didn’t know better.

Personal experience: I used to be very good friends with one of these girls. We shared notes and studied together. Until she got around her two best friends. When ever she was around them they would mess with me, because she knew I am not confrontational. She would let her friends talk about me, probably even laugh with them when I wasn’t around. When I thought she was my friend, I had once told her that I hated to have my picture taken. So when she got around those two all they would do was try to flash pictures of me and threaten to put them on facebook. I ignored it because they said they were just joking. I was still annoyed, but I let it go. Then school let out and sophomore year came around shortly after. It was only the second day of school and these girls were taking my picture at embarrassing angles saying they would post them. I got fed up and asked them what they’re problem was and told them to get a life and stop obsessing over my insecurities. My so called friend allowed her friend to get in my face and shout at me. I don’t know if you know this but when someone gets in your face it is a level of extreme disrespect. I have never in my life felt the urge to knock someone out until that day. It may sound bad, but Im just being honest. Incase you were wondering, no I did not hit anyone or get into a fight; I have to much to lose for that dumb crap. Now when I see what used to be my good friend and her wannabees walking around I get a knot it my stomach; not of fear, but of pure disgust and extreme dislike. Every time I look at their faces all the anger comes flowing back to me and I just have to cool off. Never again will I greet one of them with a smile or warm disposition. I am a very genuine person I believe. In eighth grade I got the courtesy award. Im really not mean or hard to get along with. It takes a lot to make me mad, but once somebody pushes someone like me to their limit, it will not be the same. Perhaps one day we will be able to put our differences aside and just tolerate one another. I will forgive a person, but I won’t forget.

The “Follower” Mean Girl:

If you’ve met a queen bee, I’m sure you’ve met a follower. The one girl, or pair in most cases, that follow the other one around and laughing at everything they say whether its funny or not. These girls don’t appear as a threat, but these types of girls are the people that give power to cliques and bullying. They go along with everything the other one says, even if they know it is wrong. They’re the kind of girls who stand there and watch their best friend tell another student how unpleasant their appearance is and just watch. Or most of the time antagonizing someone else just so there will be a show down. Or sometimes they just stand there and don’t do anything. They are sometimes an instigator. Or just as bad a bystander. They re not doing anything wrong, but they’re certainly not doing anything right either.

The truth about her: These girls usually strive to be the “leader”. If you’ve ever heard the expression “If you cant beat them join them” then you understand their way of thinking. There is really not much to say about them. They’re not very complex creatures, just sad followers who don’t think for themselves.

Personal experience: One day I was sitting in the class room and one of the three well known mean girls at my school sat beside me. She looked at me and said. “We heard what you were saying about us, what’s that about?” she asked. I was stunned really, because I really didn’t care enough to say anything about them. “What?” I said. “Why were you talking about us”? She again questioned. I felt like I was being interrogated. “I wasn’t talking about you, why would I say anything about you?” I answered. Then she shot her friend a look across the room and looked at me and smiled. “Ok, we just wanted to see if you were saying anything so we faked being mad, but now we know you’re not.” She seemed satisfied and just sat there. I just starred at her trying to understand her logic and why should would even think up a scheme like that. I felt not only betrayed, but like I was a pawn in some weird game of theirs. The followers go out and talk to everyone and report back to their friends for information on how to possibly start some kind of fight, or new joke material. It sounds so planned and unrealistic but is often true. Fact is people like that just like to get the attention and heat on someone else so its not on them.

The “Dangerous” Mean Girl:

This type of mean girl you hope to never come across. I personally have not, and hope you never do either. This type of mean girl does so much more than play catty mind games and call names. This type of mean girls physically abuses their victims to the point of verbal and physical abuse so severe that they brutally kill them or make them want to take their own life. This girl is beyond a you know what, this girl is deeply disturbed and pure evil. Their morals and priorities are so out of wack.

The truth about this girl: I could not tell you the truth about this girl, because I have luckily never had en encounter with one. All I can say is there behavior is one hundred percent inexcusable no matter what they have been through. Torturing a person to a point of death or excruciating pain is an evil act; and it seems like you hear more and more of it. How many times have you heard of a student being arrested for manslaughter because them and another student got into it. The truth is I don’t know if they understand that every time they hurt or take someone’s life that someone is not just a kid you didn’t like. That was someone’s child, someone’s sister, someone’s friend, someone’s WORLD. Now a days these girls go around taking the lives of everyone they don’t particularly like, which is NOT OK. Weather they know it or not I do not pity these girls. When someone goes to the point of stopping someone’s heart to solve there problems, it is disturbing on many levels.

Personal Experience: I am so lucky never to encounter one of these girls; but I can say what I’ve heard. It was just an ordinary day when I glanced down at the paper. It said a young person was sentenced almost 30 years in prison for torturing a fellow student until the girl eventually died. It wasn’t that long ago my friend was telling me what went on at her school. One of the promising A+student, chipper, head cheerleader was arrested and in prison for manslaughter. This is definitely not the type of mean girl you try to fight. You tell someone if they’re getting to close for comfort, and try avoiding them as much as possible. It’s a matter of lie and death. Although these kinds usually aren’t roming free in a high school, you never know. Be careful out there.

In conclusion, when growing up, kids are trying to find out who they are. To avoid being made fun of they often take a path in life that’s not favored. Being a mean girl is not the answer. Kids just feel the need to be in some sort of nitch and talk about others so they belong.  Not every thing you see in movies is real. You don’t have to be beautiful to be a mean girl. I know not every one I have encountered was. It isn’t a beauty thing, or a weight thing, it’s a power issue. That’s my theory; but I can tell you right now that queen bee crap wont fly in the real world. So if you are one I suggest you put your past behind you and apologize to everyone you’ve hurt. If you aren’t one, good for you you’ve found a way to be a genuine person and make friends by not hurt others. I have no idea how one would categorize me, Im sure they do, I just don’t really care. I may not be super popular but at least when I wake up I can look at myself in the mirror. I hope you can say the same.

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  • Michelle

    Hi Dana,

    Thank you for sharing your stories. I’m a teacher and a graduate student at the same time and I’m doing a research paper on mean girls.

    I’m glad to see you stand up to these girls. You are where most of us girls should be with our self-esteem. Don’t give those girls the pleasure of seeing you upset ever! Keep your head up, your feet grounded and you will have much success in life. Resilience!