by Vanessa Van Petten |
It is very hard to be aware of our own behavior. Some passive aggressiveness is subconscious and difficult to conquer. Ask your spouse or friends if they see you acting passive aggressively and then be honest about what you might have done with your teens to teach them this behavior is OK.
3. Maybe fighting isn’t so bad?
You cannot get rid of passive aggressive behavior and not replace it with anything. Passive aggressiveness is a way for people to deal with confrontation and disagreement. If you discourage open communication in your household, your teens might have to turn to more subversive tactics. Tell them you always would prefer open arguments to passive aggressive behavior. At least this is honest and productive when all issues are on the table.
4. Talk about how being passive aggressiveness is a lose-lose
Go through times when either you have been passive aggressive or been a victim to it and how you felt. Usually, no one feels good after they have punished or been punished by someone else in this way. When they realize that being passive aggressive is not only not fulfilling but harms relationships long term they are more likely to change it.
Passive aggressive behavior is sneaking into many of our interactions, lets help teens be aware of their behavior before they are too set in their ways to change it!
Tags: anger, arguing, behavior, fighting, passive aggressive
My first thought on reading the title was, “Aren’t ALL teenagers passive aggressive?”. It’s the nature of the beast, as it were. It’s a time when people don’t have a ton of skills in expressing themselves and handling frustration, mixed with a lack of power because they are still underage. People who use being p/a (including adults) do so because it offers a temporary feeling of power, especially if they don’t know other ways to express themselves. The point about asking if your kids are learning it from you is very valid. It’s worth examining.
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