Tips for my Middle School and High School Self

Sofia is an 18 year old from Los Angeles, CA. She is attending the University of Colorado at Boulder and is studying to be a clinical psychologist and loves to go snowboarding!

Award winning country singer Taylor Swift once said in one of her songs “Wish you could go back, and tell yourself what you know now,” during a period of self reflection. In my opinion, if I could go back to my middle school and high school days and give myself all of the knowledge that I have now I would have saved myself a lot of trouble and confusion. If I were to write a letter to my younger self with advice and tips it would go something like this:

Dear Sofia,

First of all, I know that you being in middle school you feel compelled to not listen to anybody but your friends, but trust me, I think I know a thing or two about these confusing years ahead of you. The first thing I learned was not to pour all of your feelings into the latest “crush.” Though you may not think so, the Mark Friedman of your middle school will not be the highlight of your life, and he certainly is not what you want to be remembered for—the girl who would give anything to date this one guy. Truth is, boys in middle school are extremely immature and they will not get better until about graduate school; consider yourself lucky if you find one that is able to exhibit traits that are above Neanderthal.

Also, as you venture through your middle school years, odds are trends will come and go like seasons, so it is important to not modify your look and clean out your closet every time a new trend comes rolling through. In my day, Juicy Couture outfits were the latest rage and let me tell you, it was not cheap to keep up with the trend. At the end of the day, I went into high school where all new trends were appearing and I was stuck with one too many Juicy outfits.

But perhaps one of the most important things I learned in my high school days was when I had my first real boyfriend. Even though having your first boyfriend is great, it is extremely important to not let all of your other relationships and activities fall through the cracks. I sacrificed a lot of my friendships and activities for some boy I did not even end up staying with in the long run. It was foolish, even though I thought I was doing the right thing by making my boyfriend happy rather than myself. Then, about a year later, when I got my next boyfriend (who I am still with to this day) I learned to budget my time accordingly. I spend time with my friends, my family, and my boyfriend, and at the end of the day I was the happiest when I was spending time with everyone I loved.

So, the moral of this letter is: don’t transform yourself to fit in with everyone else, don’t gamble all of your feelings and goals on a single boy, and never give up everything you have to make another person happy. Make sure to look before you fall, because once you fall, there is no turning back.

Love,
Sofia

Some additional tips/advice:
♥ Don’t do anything you normally wouldn’t to fit in with the “popular crowd”
♥ Don’t feel obligated to go past your limits because you think the cute boy will go
for you if you do
♥ No matter what, always try to avoid situations that make you vulnerable
♥ Don’t try to fit in with the latest trends, because being you will never go out of
style
♥ Always give people the real you, because that’s the person they want to know;
they don’t want to know a version of you

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