5 Tips for After the Divorce

Ichien is a 17 year old who was born and raised in Queens, NY. During her free time, she can be found in the midst of crowded streets shopping, going to a movie theater, filming, reading or writing. She has a passion for filming and writing and hopes that one day she can make use of her passion to inspire the world.

Living in a household with your parents separated can be harsh and difficult for the child. When your child grows up to a teen, he/she may be able to adapt to the new lifestyle but not always. Conflicts may arise especially when the mother or father gets a new spouse and starts a “new family.”

 

Here are some tips that the parent can do after the divorce:

 

1. Keep the communication open with your teen.

When you meet someone new or start dating again, let your teen know first and make sure that you’re on the same page with your teen. Never allow your teen to be the last one to know things, just because you think it’ll protect his/her feelings or that he/she can’t handle the change.

 

2. Don’t leave your child feeling left behind.

Always be involved in your teen’s life if not, more than you were before when you lived with your teen. Shower your child with love and let him/her know that you’ll always be there for him/her no matter what.

 

3. Don’t make your teen choose between the two parents.

Don’t put your teen in a situation where he/she has to pick to either live with Mom or Dad. Unless, the situation calls out for the teen to choose, then let your teen know that who ever he/she chooses, you’ll be fine with it.

 

4. Live in the present but don’t forget your past.

Don’t dwell in the past but don’t forget the past either. When you move on and marry another spouse, move in together and have kids, remember your kids from the previous marriage as well. Your teen may feel left out because your teen will feel like he/she is no longer part of the family. Make your teen feel like he/she belongs to a family.

 

5. Split up the cost.

Since you and your spouse divorced, for something big like paying for college, you have to split up the tuition or any cost for your teen. Your teen wouldn’t want one parent paying for everything even if the parent is the dependent. It’s not right and it doesn’t show the fairness of bringing up a child in a divorced family. It’s also something called child support.

 

 

 

 

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