4 Reasons Teens Aren’t Being Abstinent

TreNesha is a 16-year old from Goodyear, AZ. She enjoys golfing, writing and watching live plays.


It has become increasingly obvious that sex in teens has become a problem for America. With so many shows and movies about teen pregnancy and disease it’s hard to ignore. I am an abstinent teen and I’ve always wondered why so many teens were unwilling to follow the same path as me. I asked around and came up with these four reasons why teens aren’t abstinent.


1. It seems unrealistic

To most teens the idea of waiting to have sex until you’re married is just not realistic. With so many sexual images surrounding us it seems like there’s no way to make it to marriage, or even adulthood, without doing it.


2. Already Had Sex

It’s a sad truth, but by the time teens reach their senior year in high school most of them have already had sex. Abstinence is sometimes portrayed as something for only the “pure” people so those teens think it’s too late for them.


3. Sex is expected in a relationship

            Peer pressure is one of the main reasons why teens do almost everything. When you get in a relationship one of the most common questions you’ll be asked is, “Have you done it yet?” There are also other factors like the possibility that your boyfriend/girlfriend has done it before you. You don’t want them to think you’re inexperienced.


4. It’s not “cool”

            In this generation the prospect of being abstinent or celibate just isn’t popular. In every teen movie or television show all the characters are having sex. In the ABC Family show Secret Life of The American Teenager even the girl who swore she wouldn’t have sex before marriage fell into it. Waiting until marriage just seems old-fashioned now.


Those are the top reasons why teens are not being abstinent. And I’ve had an abundance of them argued to me when I told my friends that I was abstinent. It didn’t matter though, I had my rebuttals ready.


1. It seems unrealistic

            It might be unrealistic, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.


2. Already had sex

            That really doesn’t matter. Being abstinent is about protecting your body and heart. It’s never too late to do that.


3. Sex is expected in a relationship

I believe that your sexual relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend should only be your business not everyone else’s. I feel it’s my personal responsibility to tell my boyfriend about my being abstinent as well. If he doesn’t want to stick around afterwards then he wasn’t that boyfriend I needed anyway.


4. It’s not “cool”

            So? Not everything stays in fashion forever. I don’t want to look back on my teen years and say “Oh my god why did I do that?” I want to look back and say that I was proud of what I did. Besides I’m a trendsetter not a trend follower.


I’m not a parent yet but I do know the greatest thing you have is the ability to influence your children. We might not seem like we’re listening but we hear everything you say. Don’t be afraid to talk to your teens about sex. It’s either one moment of awkwardness for both of you or years of regret for them.

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2 Responses to “4 Reasons Teens Aren’t Being Abstinent”

  1. Erin
    January 17, 2012 at 9:49 pm #

    And if you are actually ready, ready to buy condoms, ready emotionaly, ready to take that step… then it is fine. Most people can’t even talk about sex; so they should not be having it.

  2. Hazel Hill
    February 3, 2012 at 3:51 am #

    I’d rather they be safe than abstinent.   I’m really glad I started having sex when I did.  I used protection and was responsible and had some great experiences.

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