Sam is a seventeen-year-old from Montgomery, NJ. When she isn’t obsessing over the New Jersey Devils, Sam is doing charity work, reading magazines, and hanging with friends. She also wishes to make an imprint on the world in the future.
I have two very close friends, L, a girl I have known for years and A, a boy I have met over this past summer. Both have a lot in common: both are biracial (Caucasian mothers and Indian fathers), love sports in general, and are intelligent people. What is
most interesting however, is that L and A are both bisexuals.
Most of us are acquainted with the GBF or “Gay Best Friend.” We are mostly familiar with this archetype through television and movies. A glamorous heterosexual female goes shopping and gabs with her equally fabulous homosexual male
counterpart. However, few know about the bisexual best friend (the BBF).
Having a BBF does not really involve an emphasis on their sexuality the way the GBF stereotype might. The BBF doesn’t really bring attention to it, and as a result the straight friend doesn’t bring attention to it. However, this situation is not necessarily an “elephant in the room.” I do not perceive L and A any differently than I did before
they revealed their orientation. Rather, I see their bisexuality as just another attribute, like green hair or a love for Pink Floyd.
Contrarily, on the occasions where sexuality does come up, whether the topic is political rights or crushes, it is very easy for me to adapt to the topic without awkwardness. I have never quite understood this ease. Perhaps LGBT rights and crushes of any sex are just not taboo topics with me. Perhaps it is due to my own agreement with L and A’s views. In any event, it can be relatively easy for a straight friend to join in conversations regarding bisexuality when they arise.
I am very protective and caring of L and A. After nasty confrontations or getting rejected by a crush, I do what I can to help them feel better. No matter how touchy the subject, I am more than willing to give advice. It is the same with any other friend I might have. However, possibly as a response to such care and loyalty, I have also become more hypersensitive to comments that may be perceived as offensive to them (i.e. using “gay” in the context of “stupid”). It’s a bit of a habit, but perhaps a positive one. To me, it’s representative of how much I care about them and their well-being.
With a BBF there are no stereotypes, no centralization around one’s sexuality, and no awkwardness. Instead, there is acceptance, care, and loyalty, just like any other friendship. BBFs are just like any BFF, only they happen to like both genders. Nothing more, nothing less.
Photo: Jennifer Kiernan courtesy of Flickr