Hailey is a fourteen year old from a small city named LaPorte, in Indiana. She enjoys singing, dancing, writing, and spending time with her friends. Her favorite class is theater, because it helps get her mind off of any stress she might be encountering. She wants to be a lawyer or journalist when she grows up.
Because I am a teenager going through a break in a high school relationship, my parents find it difficult to help me. For the past six months, I spent every day with my now ex- boyfriend. Within hours, all of that was gone, as well as my daily routine. Fortunately, the first step my mom did was call me, and make sure I was okay. I let it all out, and being close to my mom helped me with that. She took me to Dairy Queen, and we ate and talked about what had happened. I told her the events, my feelings, and what I planned to do about it. My mom is my best friend, so it was easy for me. My friends, however, told me that they could never tell their parents about their relationship. I told them that there are ten ways my mom helped me get through this break. Sadly, many teenagers experience on- again, off- again relationships throughout high school. These are very common, as well as breaks such as the one my recent boyfriend and I are going through. I have listed ten ways to help your teenager get through breaks or on-again, off-again relationships.
- Bear with the teenager, even if they’re the one who proposed the break, or broke it off. Explain to your teenager that although there are “many other fish in the sea”, right now it is about how to get over it and focus on themselves. Remind your teenager that sometimes when you let people go, they come back. Try not to instill hope of the relationship returning, however, because that may just cause more heartache if it doesn’t happen.
- If your teenager seems to have dropped any habits he or she had before the relationship, such as hanging out with friends, hasn’t returned eating, or hasn’t returned to their normal sleeping habits after a few days, show signs of isolation, or isn’t seeming to move on in the least bit, it may be time to seek help from a professional.
- Don’t talk down the other person in the relationship. Feelings don’t go away overnight. Give your teenager time to move on. If it’s a break, allow them to see the other person occasionally, as they may want to work through their issues. Be there for both of the teenagers in the relationship.
- Listen! While giving advice will always make your teenage feel okay, let them talk. They will have quite a bit on their mind and telling you will help them feel better. Try not to interrupt, and make sure you have a box of tissues and a glass of water with you as well.
- Encourage your teenager to get together with friends. Even if they don’t want to, being with their friends will get their mind off this problem. Bowling, seeing a movie, having a sleepover, doing hair and makeup, and going to dinner will all help your teenager feel normal and happy again, even if it’s just for a little while.
- Let your teenager have some freedom. If they want to go to the library, let them go. If they want to go over to a friend’s house for a few hours, let them go. Being away from home and the places where they spent their time with their significant other will help let them go.
In the end, try to be there for your teenager. Let them cry on a shoulder and try to help them through this tough time. If the relationship comes back to them, be happy for them. Remind then they are only teenagers and they have their life to find somebody. It may seem hard, but as the days and weeks pass, life will get better for everybody.
Photo Credit: Nathan Csonka Photography