Promposals: Unnecessary Prom Drama?

prom, school dance, high school, teen datingSam is a seventeen-year-old from Montgomery, NJ. When she isn’t obsessing over the New Jersey Devils, Sam is doing charity work, reading magazines, and hanging with friends. She also wishes to make an imprint on the world in the future.


Spring. Flowers are blossoming. Days become longer. There is much to look forward to. Then, prom season begins.

The major issue with prom is, of course, finding a date. Shortly after some big school event, or a big holiday, everyone is anxious to see who will be asked, and how big will this “promposal” be. As exciting as it may sound, these promposals can actually cause a lot of unneeded stress on many high-schoolers. This prom stress can come in many forms. Luckily, it can also be alleviated.


First, social media can be a stressor in this process. At first, it may seem like the roses and card your date gave you seem very sweet and thoughtful. As more girls are asked, photos can flood your news feed. Usually, the bigger and more grandiose the promposal, the more “likes” it has on Facebook or Instagram. Suddenly, the girl whose boyfriend writes out “Prom?” in giant letters on the football field seems a lot more romantic than the roses and card. Doesn’t seem as cool, huh?

However, it is all about perspective. So what if someone else was asked in a “cooler” way than you were? Remember that you were asked too, and it is always the thought, and the opportunity for an unforgettable time, that really counts. (As for the students who don’t have a date, we’ll get to you later).

Promposals can also become stressful once a time crunch has been established. Things can change very radically. All of a sudden, you keep an eye on the person you will most likely go with (like a significant other or a close friend), calculating every move to see if it will lead to those four magical letters with one punctuation mark. You become disappointed when every “perfect” opportunity that arises does not result in a promposal. Time seems to accelerate to prom, and nothing else seems to matter.

Or does it? There are several different possibilities as to why a person may be hesitant in asking you to prom, from meticulous planning to pure laziness. Regardless of why, all you can do is stop overanalyzing, go with the flow, and let patience be a virtue. You know that saying about good things….

Most importantly, and most prevalently, promposals can spark the fear of being “that person.” The person, who, for one reason or another, can’t seem to find a date at all. This pressure is added when “that person” is the only one out of his or her group without a date. It can be frustrating and humiliating, and as more receive promposals, you most likely feel desperate and tortured.

All hope is not lost, though. If there is a high chance that you will be going solo, try to ignore whenever something prom-related occurs. Not receiving a promposal is not the end of the world, even during your senior year! There are likely many in your situation. Going with your single girl (or guy) friends can take the pressure off for many single high-schoolers on the big day, and many of your peers will likely not notice if you don’t have a date.

One can argue that the promposal, regardless of the drama, can be a magical moment in a teenager’s life, and can make one’s prom even more special. However, with the many issues surrounding promposals and the beginning of prom season, it can give off an aura of “Why bother asking someone formally in the first place?” Nevertheless, as dresses are bought and limos are rented, most of us still focus more on the main event, not the kickoff (perhaps the way it should be).


Photo: Pheets courtesy of Flickr

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