7 Strategies for Highly Successful Teens

FinalHighRes010-XL

A life changing program for your teens.

I am so excited to announce I have a new program for Teens, Parents and Teachers.

In this fun, entertaining and inspirational talk I go over the 7 strategies for highly effective teens.

This is nothing like your typical high school presentation.

Here are some highlights:

  • Groundbreaking research insights about the teen brain and behavior
  • Hilarious and inspiring videos
  • Immediately applicable action steps to motivate and encourage teens from all levels
  • Relatable stories for teens to feel engaged and understood

I can’t give too much away, but in this talk we delve into both the lighthearted and serious issues teens face including:

  • Effective communication with peers, parents and teachers
  • Mastering the online environment–preventing cyberbullying, staying savvy online and building a digital reputation that lasts
  • School – life balance, reducing stress and finding the right outlets
  • How to have healthy relationships with the important people in a teen’s life
  • Planning for the future, smart college applications, resume building and finding your life passions

I am stoked about this new talk and have already booked out January, February and March at High Schools, youth conferences and Parent groups around the US.

Please contact our manager Lynn Campbell for pricing and date availability:

 manager@radicalparenting.com

*Yes, of course, we have a tween version!

Talking to Kids About Drinking And Driving

On June 22, 2013, drunken driver Matthew Cordle hit and killed Vincent Canzani. In a somber YouTube video, Cordle publicly confessed to causing the fatal crash and pledged to accept responsibility for his actions.

This tragedy sends chills down the spines of parents everywhere. How can parents protect their children from drunken drivers, and how can we help our youth understand the importance of driving sober?

Cordle’s YouTube confession, with 2 million views and counting, gives parents an impetus to have a difficult but necessary conversation with their children. Here are some tips for broaching this sensitive topic with clarity and poignancy:

1. What do they know?
When you first sit down with your child, it is important to find out what they already know and have heard about drunken driving. This is important for all ages, because it allows you to dispel any myths and work off what they have already heard at school or from friends. Here are some questions you can ask depending on your child’s age:

  • Do you know what it means to drive drunk? To drive under the influence?
  • Have you ever talked about drunken driving at school?
  • Have you heard stories about drunken driving? What do you know about it?
  • How do you think drunken driving happens?

Read the rest of my article at HLN!

5 Best Parenting Books

What are the 5 parenting books that every parent should read? It is a mission at Radical Parenting to increase reading and literacy. We also love supporting authors.

Here we have selected our top five favorite books for parents:

top picks for parents, mom blog, recommendations for parents, website for parents, parenting website
All of our content is Teen Approved by our teen interns!

NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman

This is an amazing book for parents that uses scientific studies to bust parenting myths and help give tools that actually work.

Scream Free Parenting by Jenny Runkel

ScreamFree Parenting is a new approach to parenting that parents rave about. The focus is on creating responsible, caring adults through improving your relationship with your child rather than just trying to “get them” to do the right thing. It contains universal principles, which teach parents to become the calm, cool, and connected influencers in their homes rather than trying to simply be game wardens or gate keepers.

Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes our Souls by Gary L. Thomas

Sacred Parenting is unlike any other parenting book you have ever read. This is not a “how-to” book that teaches you ways to discipline your kids or help them achieve their full potential. Instead of discussing how parents can change their kids, Sacred Parenting turns the tables and demonstrates how God uses our kids to change us.

Real Love and Real Love in Parenting by Greg Baer, M.D.

Greg Baer holds nothing back. Some of what he says might feel a little harsh, but can be a real wake up call to be REAL about our responsibilities and our role in our kids’ lives. Tweens and Teens of parents applying these principles will love the change they see in their parents and how they feel happier, receive more respect, autonomy, and skills to prepare them for a lifetime of powerfully REAL relationships and happiness.

Just Tell Me What To Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts For Perplexed Parents by Betsy Brown Braun

This book provides hands-on, just give-it-to-me-straight tools so that parents gain the skills and confidence they need to handle the sometimes challenging situations that inevitably accompany raising children ages 2-6 and beyond. Hailed by the New York Times as a “parenting guru,” Braun’s down-to-earth advice is derived from her expertise working with thousands of children (from toddlers to teens) and parents for over three decades.

We hope you will consider bringing more books into your own home. Feel free to leave us your favorite books in the comments.

If you liked this post, you might also like our list of favorite books for parents at Radical Parenting.

Best Books for Parents

best-parenting-book-badge1We love supporting authors and readers and we have selected our top five books for parents in each of the following categories:

Best Books for Parents of All Ages:

NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman

This is an amazing book for parents that uses scientific studies to bust parenting myths and help give tools that actually work.

Scream Free Parenting by Jenny Runkel

ScreamFree Parenting is a new approach to parenting that parents rave about. The focus is on creating responsible, caring adults through improving your relationship with your child rather than just trying to “get them” to do the right thing. It contains universal principles, which teach parents to become the calm, cool, and connected influencers in their homes rather than trying to simply be game wardens or gate keepers.

Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes our Souls by Gary L. Thomas

Sacred Parenting is unlike any other parenting book you have ever read. This is not a “how-to” book that teaches you ways to discipline your kids or help them achieve their full potential. Instead of discussing how parents can change their kids, Sacred Parenting turns the tables and demonstrates how God uses our kids to change us.

Real Love and Real Love in Parenting by Greg Baer, M.D.

Greg Baer holds nothing back. Some of what he says might feel a little harsh, but can be a real wake up call to be REAL about our responsibilities and our role in our kids’ lives. Tweens and Teens of parents applying these principles will love the change they see in their parents and how they feel happier, receive more respect, autonomy, and skills to prepare them for a lifetime of powerfully REAL relationships and happiness.

Just Tell Me What To Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts For Perplexed Parents by Betsy Brown Braun

This book provides hands-on, just give-it-to-me-straight tools so that parents gain the skills and confidence they need to handle the sometimes challenging situations that inevitably accompany raising children ages 2-6 and beyond. Hailed by the New York Times as a “parenting guru,” Braun’s down-to-earth advice is derived from her expertise working with thousands of children (from toddlers to teens) and parents for over three decades.

Best Books for Parents of Teens:

Get Out of My Life…. but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall? by Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D

A parent’s Guide to today’s teenager. Dr. Wolf does a great job telling stories and relating advice for parents.

Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded?: Stop Fighting, Start Talking, and Get to Know Your Teen by Vanessa Van Petten

A shameless plug, of course our teens were happy to review this parenting book, written by a teen for teens and their parents.  Traditional, and dare we say radical tips from the founder of Radical Parenting.

Take Out Your Nose Ring, Honey, We’re Going to Grandma’s: Hanging In, Holding On and Letting Go of Your Teen by Carleton Kendrick

best books, best books for teens, summer reading, book recommendations for teens
These Books are Teen Approved by our teen interns!

This book is a reassuring antidote to today’s epidemic of negative teen stereotypes, a collection of real-life, inspiring and amusing stories from the true experts – POAs, parents of adolescents. Nosering helps you stay lovingly connected with your teens while remaining aware of their goodness, confusion and desperate search for identity.

“Yes Your Teen is Crazy!” by Dr. Mike Bradley

This is an extremely comprehensive book that informs parents about what teens are experiencing both physiologically and psychologically during puberty. Additionally, it teaches parents how to handle all the various challenging situations with which their teens may well present them. It emphasizes parenting with consistency, compassion, concrete acknowledgment of teens’ growing capacity for responsibility and the importance of maintaining a dispassionate demeanor during whatever emotional outbursts or rages parents are confronted.

Blessings of B Minus by Wendy Mogul

This book uses Jewish Principles to teach parents how to raise resilient kids and teens. Even though the principles are from Jewish philosophy this book is really helpful for parents of all religions and backgrounds.

Best Books for Parents of Kids and Tweens

Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child’s True Potential by Eileen Kennedy Moore, PhD Mark S Lowenthal, PsyD

I love how this book approaches talking to kids about achievement in success–without pushing perfection. A great read, inspiring stories, and helpful advice.

What Kids REALLY Want to Ask: Using Movies to Start Meaningful Conversations‹A Guidebook for Parents and Children Ages 10-­14 by Rhonda A. Richardson, PhD and A. Margaret Pevec, MA

“What Kids REALLY Want to Ask provides an ingenious, fun, and effective way for parents and young people to connect. And it takes exactly this connection for adult wisdom to flow to kids–and for kids to offer their insights to parents.

Screen Shot 2013-06-05 at 1.13.26 PMSimplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross

I love that this book is about simplifying the lives of parents and kids. If you want to strip down to basics and leave a calmer life, this approach to parenting is for you.

Playful Learning: Develop Your Child’s Sense of Joy and Wonder by Mariah Bruehl

This author is a former teacher and knows exactly how to engage kids to learn and be excited about learning. Her ideas really resonate with both parents and kids.

No Regrets Parenting: Turning Long Days and Short Years into Cherished Moments with Your Kids by Harley Robart, M.D.

If you are not a big reader, this short and sweet book is for you. With some easy lessons and inspiring moments this book can kickstart your bonding with your kids.

Best Books for Parents with Babies and Toddlers

Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs by Ellen Galinsky

This book gives step by step advice on the seven skills that your child needs and exactly how to help your child learn them.

Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn – and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D. & Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D.

Play is so important! This book helps parents understand the foundation of learning how important play is to incorporate into your child’s environment.

Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five by John Medina

I am a big fan of following the latest science and this book gives a great overview of the most important science for a developing brain.

Bottled Up: How the Way We Feed Babies Has Come to Define Motherhood, and Why It Shouldn’t by Suzanne Barston

Food is a hot topic right now and this book gives a great overview into how feeding and motherhood have changed and how these trends are going to effect our children and families.

Parenting From the Inside Out by Daniel J. Siegel, Mary Hartzell

Siegel is a prolific author and researcher and his partnership with Hartzell to write this book is a beautiful look into how we can parent from the inside out.

Have you seen our other top picks? 

An Encouraging Letter to American Parents

Advice for Parenting Teenagers: Help for A Teenage Break-UpThis article is by our resident school counselor at Radical Parenting. Check out her bio and other articles or submit a question at School Counselor’s Corner: Q&A with Dr. A.  

Is anyone else sick of hearing about what terrible parents we are?  How American children are poorly behaved, sugar-induced, self-serving, lost individuals, with little drive to do right?  With Chinese “tiger moms,” Finland’s high achievers, and superior French discipline all the rage in the media this past year, it’s a wonder our children manage to get their shoes on the right feet.  According to pop culture, Western parents should be ashamed of themselves.  We are obviously gluttonous, rude, lazy pushovers raising similar children, right?

Well, I am here to stand up for the American parent.  I am a psychologist, parent of 3, and work at an amazing school with children and their parents daily.  My opinion may not matter to many, but for what it’s worth, these are my observations about our above average American families.

American parents work hard.  We work hard at work, we work hard at home, and sometimes we work just so that our children can have the best.  And while sometimes that equates to material items, more often than not, our intention is to give them the best of opportunity.  We want our children to be pushed to their potential, but not over the edge; academically, socially, and spiritually.  We work so that our children can find inspiration and passion in experiences that you and I never dreamed of having at their ages.  All this while trying not to overschedule, maintain reasonable nutritional habits, and keep our family’s quality time intact despite their extracurricular activities.  We are incredibly involved, including the ever-neglected father, in the lives of our children and in the role modeling for our children.

We are good people trying to do right by our children and the world. We teach them good character and the importance of doing the right thing.  We teach them traits like integrity, generosity, and open-mindedness.  In a world where terrorism is all too real and frightening, we shield our children from the horror and try to convince them that the world is a good, kind place (but wear your seatbelt and don’t talk to strangers).  We teach them if we just practice tolerance and understanding, we can all get along and work together for a greater nation and a greater world.  We teach our kids to take care of the Earth and all that she grants us so that their children, our grandchildren, will get to a chance to grow up in a healthier environment.

Lastly, we teach them gratitude.  For all that we work for and give them, we want them to know that they are the lucky ones.  They are afforded opportunities and experiences only because of our sacrifices, but we can’t choose their destiny.  Their ultimate success will lie in their own hands and only with hard work, perseverance, and determination will they reach their own goals.  We will do anything and everything to give them the tools they need, but we can’t force them to use these gifts.

It is this kind of parenting, my friends, that has shaped our country.  Last I heard, the United States of America is still pretty well recognized as an internationally superpower, so we can’t be doing that badly.  Someone raised and educated our leaders and I’m pretty certain they were American parents.  So, while each country and generation degrades the next about how spoiled our children are, let them talk. The rest of us will continue to overindulge them with love, education, acceptance, and the capacity to think outside the box; to solve problems we don’t even know exist yet.  All I can say is that from my view, these kids aren’t doing so badly and consequently, maybe, just maybe, we deserve a small pat on the back.

This thought was confirmed as I sat listening to our valedictorian and salutatorian’s speeches at this year’s graduation.  They were emitting advice about not just following your dreams, but taking your dreams a step further and choosing to make an impact in this world; pushing themselves to choose greatness and in turn, making a positive change for the universe. Their words to each other are to reach for greatness and improve upon the life we have granted them.  Could it get any better?  I could not help but think, “Thank God for these kids.”  With all that we have worked to give them; they get it and they will do great things with it.  It is true that they are spoiled with opportunity and they are all the better for it.  These children are truly our future and unlike most people’s perspectives, this gives me great peace of mind.

So, hold fast American parents.  Here’s your “Attaboy!”  I know you are wondering if the sleepless nights rocking your infant, finishing that last minute project with your child, and worrying about your teenager’s whereabouts are worth it, but if these kids are any indication of our energy and efforts, the answer is clear.  Dig in, dig deep, and keep doing what your doing and take solace in knowing that we’re in this together.

15 Best Books for Young Adults and Tweens

books for kids, best books, best books for teens, summer reading, book recommendations for teens
These books are Teen Approved by our teen interns!

Finding good young adult books is a challenge–but getting the right book can encourage young readers and make for great reading escapes. Here at Radical Parenting we want to review some of the best books for young adults and tween readers. We try to pick the best three in each category.

Why is it so important for young adults to read?

We love encouraging young adult readers and tween readers because we think books are the way to teach kids life lessons and provide a safe brain stimulating activity. Here are some other reasons to get the tween in your life a life-changing book:

  1. Tweens Learn Best From Stories: Young adult readers love to learn from characters in their books. Some of the best books out there (including the ones we chose below) have amazing moral lessons, life lessons and characters young adult readers can look up to. As tweens read they are able to put themselves in the shoes of the character and decide how they would make decisions. This is a great mental lesson.
  2. A Safe Activity for Young Adults: As long as the book is appropriate, I can’t quite think of a safer activity for young adults other than reading. During summer breaks or weekends, there is nothing better than helping a tween dive into a great book.
  3. Awesome Books Inspire Awesome Thinking: Books encourage imagination and brain stimulation far more than movies or Facebook. When a tween or young adult picks up a good book their creative juices flow and their imagination is active.

Top Books for Young Adult ReadersBest Books For Young Adults and Tweens

We always choose the best three books in a category and then have our favorites in each category, teen pick and runner ups below. Be sure to leave your favorites in the comments or if you have reviews on our best books for teens.

1. Wings of Fire by Tui T. Sutherland

This is a wonderful book series for tweens and young adults. It is full of adventure and magic and works for both boy tweens and girl tweens as summer or fun reading. This book is great for young adults because it is the story of dragons and will entice lots of imagination and adventure.

2. Criss Cross by Lynne Rae Perkins

This is a lovely and inspiring story for your young adult reader. Debbie is the main character of the story who takes readers along with her on her journey. This is for ages 10 and up and has won a Newbery award as well as the hearts of may tween readers.

3. Hope Was Here by Joan Bauer 

Hope Was Here is a story of a young girl in a small town. The touching tale will bring out the sappy in any reader. Another Newbery Honor book, tweens will feel inspired and take home lessons from Joan Bauer’s story of a young girl from Wisconsin.

Fiction Books for Young Adult ReadersBest Fiction Books for Young Adults and Tweens

If your tween is looking for an escape, these best fiction books are the way to go. The stories are fun and relatable and your young adult reader will love them.

1. Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

Of course, we had to list Harry Potter as one of the best series of all time. Be careful, your tween reader will get totally hooked to these books and you might not be able to pry them out of their hands! These are also great books to listen to on tape with tweens or kids in the car on road trips and vacations.

2.  The Best School Year Ever by Barbara Robinson

This is a funny book of stories about misfits and all of their adventures. If you have a reader with a short attention span or a spunky attitude then this book by Barbara Robinson is for your young adult reader!

3. The Last Book In The Universe by Rodman Philbrick

This interesting book is set in the future and helps to get tween and young adult readers thinking about some bigger questions. What could happen in the future? How do we view reading? How do we value books? Great for both male and female readers The Last Book in the Universe is a great summer read.

Best Non-Fiction Self-Help Books for Young Adults and Tweens

Some tweens are looking for inspiration from their books. These non-fiction picks or self-help books for tweens can teach and inspire.

Non-Fiction Books for Tweens1. Chicken Soup for the Kid’s Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen, Irene Dunlap

The Chicken Soup series are classics that will always resonate with readers–no matter what age. What I love about the Chicken Soup series is it uses real stories to inspire and teach lessons to kids and tweens.

2. Young Revolutionaries Who Rock by Dallas Jessup

This is a great “How-To Guide for Saving the World One Revolution at a Time” and sets out to inspire and motivate young tweens. Dallas Jessup is calling for youth activism and lays out grand plans in her fun book.

3. Questions Young People Ask, Answers That Work, Volumes 1&2 by Dr Andrea Frayser

This book provides honest workable answers to questions that kids and parents often wrestle with like: Why Don’t I Like Myself? How Do I Know if It’s Real Love? What If My Parents Are Addicted to Drugs or Alcohol? How Can I Protect Myself at School? Can I Be Happy In A Single Parent Family? and More. This is a great how to book that parents and tweens can read together.

Runner-Ups: Best Books for Young Adults and Tweens

1.Be Confident in Who You Are by Annie Fox

Sometimes worrying about what other people think can hold you back from enjoying life and from making choices that reflect who you really are. This book can help you dial down your Opinion-ator and trust yourself more. Fox is a seasoned expert in everything teen, tween and kid and her books and stories really reach young readers.

2. Conversations with Teen Entrepreneurs: Success Secrets of the Younger Generation by Ben Cathers

If you have a young reader with an entrepreneurial spirit than give them some older teens and mentors to look up to! This book helps inspire and give tweens and young adults an accurate view into starting entrepreneurial endeavors.

3. The Ultimate Girls’ Guide to Understanding and Caring for Your Body by Isabel and Emily Lluch

The book covers all the topics preteen and teen girls are wondering about but might not know who to talk to, or might not be comfortable asking an adult about, including hygiene, beauty, healthy eating, periods, bras, acne, social situations, and more. The best part: the book’s authors, Isabel and Emily Lluch, are sisters who are 13 and 16, so they know all about the changes and questions girls have during puberty. The girls give advice on these important topics, along with the advice from a panel of 6 experts in the medical and beauty industries.

Teen Pick: Best Book for Tweens and Young Adults

Here is one of our teen interns remembering which book was their favorite when they were a tween.

Holes by Louis Sachar

“I loved this book because not only was the story great, but it was thrilling and funny at the same time. Every tween has to read this book!” –Maggie, 15

Have you seen our other top picks? 

What are your favorite books for young adults and summer reading lists for tweens? Be sure to let us know!

Secrets of Body Language

Many of our readers have been asking me to post more in depth about how to read their teen’s body language. And I have finally answered the demand! I also know for our visual learners that videos are much more helpful in this regard. So I have made the Secrets of Body Language video course for you!

In this course, I will use body language videos to teach you everything you need to know about body language. We have talked about how important body language reading is for parents and some of the tips in the course will help parents tremendously in reading their child’s face and being able to spot deception.

This body language course is based on scientifically backed research on the how to read people’s nonverbal behavior and improve your own. Here are some topics the Secrets of Body Language course will cover:

  • The Foundations of Body Language
  • Nonverbal Communication and the Face
  • Emotions and Body Language
  • Human Lie Detection and Body Language

If you like reading and want this in book format, check out our book: Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101

In a ten minute conversation you are likely to be lied to two to three times. You might not even realize how often the people in your life are being deceitful. This body language book is based on scientifically backed research on the how to read people’s nonverbal behavior. In Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101 you will learn:

  • How to read body language
  • How to be a human lie detector
  • How to read people
  • How to detect hidden emotions
  • How to spot lies

Whether you are a business owner, parent, spouse, employee, human resources director, teacher or student, this book will change the way you interact with those around you.

NEW Book: Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101

Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101, how to tell when your teen is lying to you, teens and lying, lying teens, how to tell when your child is lyingGet Our Latest Book!

I have been working on helping parents with nonverbal skills and body language with teens, I finally have finished the guide to lie detection that is really relevant to anyone–parent, teen, teacher, counselor. If you have ever interacted with another person and want to understand body language I hope this book helps you!

In a ten minute conversation you are likely to be lied to two to three times. You might not even realize how often the people in your life are being deceitful.

91% of people lie regularly at home and at work

It’s time you get the tools to better equip yourself. Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101 will teach you how to spot lies as well as uncover hidden emotions in the people you are interacting with.

Most importantly, it will help you have more honest interactions with the people in your life.

amazon-buy-button_2

What is This Body Language Book About?

In Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101 you will learn:

  • How to read body language
  • How to be a human lie detector
  • How to read people
  • How to detect hidden emotions
  • How to spot lies

This body language book is based on scientifically backed research on the how to read people’s nonverbal behavior.

Who Is This Book For?

Whether you are a business owner, parent, spouse, employee, human resources director, teacher or student, this book will change the way you interact with those around you. Here are all of the people that can benefit from this book on body language:

  • Employers
  • Public speakers
  • Doctors
  • Human Resources Directors
  • Poker Players
  • Actors
  • Students
  • Employees
  • Parents
  • Teachers
  • Entrepreneurs

If you have ever interacted with another person, this book will be useful to you because our everyday interactions are filled with secret nonverbal cues just waiting to be uncovered.

Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101, how to tell when your teen is lying to you, teens and lying, lying teens, how to tell when your child is lyingWhat If It Doesn’t Come Naturally?

You do not have to be born with a natural inclination to read people. In fact, all people reading skills can be self-taught. Studies show that with beginner level training the average person can increase their accuracy at spotting deception from 54% to 90% accuracy.

Lying Myths:

Because this book is based in real science, it will debunk some popular myths about lying.

Lying Myth #1: If people look to the left, they are lying. If they look to the right they are telling the truth.

Although there is some science about eye direction, which we talk about in the book. It is not the most reliable form of lie detection. The book will show you more accurate (and easier) ways to spot lies.

Lying Myth #2: Liars can’t look you in the eyes.

On average, honest people will make eye contact during conversations about 60% of the time–way less than you thought, right? Liars actually look you in the eye more because they want to seei f you believe their lie or not.

Lying Myth #3: Emails and IM’s are filled with lies because it is easier to lie when people can’t see or hear you.

In the book, I will tell you which of the following have the most lies:

___Emails

___IM’s

___Phone conversations

___Face to Face interactions

I’ll give you a hint: Shockingly, we lie the MOST in phone conversations and the LEAST in emails.

Why Is Lie Detection Important?

It is important when we know we are being lied to because it can save us money, time and sometimes even our safety. This book can train you to get to the truth 80% to 90% of the time. That can save you money on a faulty house, from hiring a bad employee or making sure you know what is really going on with your child or significant other. Unfortunately, we are not good at detecting lies. We are only right about 54% of the time! That is a little better than a coin toss. We tend to assume the best in people and have a bias towards truth–“innocent until proven guilty.”

Interesting Facts About Lying

Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101, how to tell when your teen is lying to you, teens and lying, lying teens, how to tell when your child is lyingIn Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101 I give a number of real life examples and tons of practical tips that you will be able to use immediately. For example, wouldn’t it have been great to have known when Lance Armstrong was lying?

Lance Armstrong Lies

In his recent Oprah interview, Lance Armstrong’s body language was off the charts with lies and inconsistencies. He constantly made the “contempt” microexpression, which you will learn about in the book and showed how he really felt about the interview. He also showed a dominant and aggressive body posture and seating position. His words said far less than in his body. You can learn how to decode these popular culture segments on TV and in real life. Screen Shot 2012-10-19 at 10.29.59 AM

Presidential Debate Body Language

If you watched the US Presidential Debates with Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama you might have wondered what their body language was saying. Why did Obama do so badly in the first debate, but was perceived as doing so much better in the second one? You could have watched the debates on mute and learned just as much about each candidate. In the first debate President Obama cowered while looking at his notes, which you will learn in the book is submissive body language. In the second debate he stood up much straighter and was sure to get the dominant handshake in the very beginning, setting a more positive tone.

 

If you find these cases fascinating and wish you could begin to unravel the mysteries of body language, then get your copy of Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101 now!   

amazon-buy-button_2

 

 

What Teens Really Think about Alcohol: How Parents Can Help

Image 3 (1)Somerset is a freshman in high school from Massachusetts, who enjoys great books and great movies, spending time with family and friends, and playing the violin.

 

Maybe you’ve sat your kid down and had a “heart-to heart” about the dangers of alcohol. Do you think you got through to them? Unfortunately, most likely you did not. These days, alcohol is almost the norm for teenagers. I was surprised to discover that many of my closest friends have been drunk before, and even more surprised that it was no big deal. Teenagers, no matter how many times you drill it into their heads drinking is dangerous, will probably take the risk. So, if underage drinking is bound to happen? How can you help?

 

1.) Instead of emphasizing why not to drink, emphasize what to do if you have been drinking. Tell your teenager not to ever be afraid to call at anytime, because it is always safer than getting behind the wheel drunk. Make sure your teen understands that if they have made a mistake, they should not be afraid to come to you.

 

2.) Scout out possible “drinking” situations. If your teen is heading out to a party Friday night, or having a sleepover with friends, try to calculate the possibility of a drinking situation. Are the parents pretty lax? Will there be parents? If you know that the chance of alcohol will be high, do not necessarily prevent your teen from attending the event. Instead, without insinuating the possibilty of alchol, give them guidelines to follow. Tell your teen to call every hour or so. Make sure it is not a text, but a phone call, so you can gauge their sobriety or the sobriety level in the background. If you can tell things are headed down the alcohol path, pick them up. Don’t make a big scene or get into a huge fight, just calmly tell them they need to come home. You can bring it up when your teen gets over being swept away from their friends.

 

3.) So, your teen is drunk and you catch them. Do not start screaming, punishing, or throwing accusations. Calmly get your teen to bed and think about it with a clear head. Now know, that in the morning, most likely, whatever their attitude comes across as, they are probably a bit ashamed. Calmly explain that you are disappointed in their behavior, but you know that many teens are getting drunk as well. Do not go overboard on the punishment. Let them know, that although they may be getting off easy this time, if they are caught drinking again, the punishment will be severe.

 

These three simple steps can help prevent the risks of underage drinking, although maybe not stop it altogether. Remember not to act crazy when you catch your teen drinking. Calmly state your rules and give fair punishments. You do not want drinking to become a way for your teen to rebel against you. If all goes well, your teen will realize drinking isn’t cool, and the dangers far out way any benefits.

Caught! When You Find Out Your Teen Has Sex, Does Drugs

sexual activity, underage drinking, teen drug use, teen drinking, Anthony is a 17-year old born and raised on the busy streets of New York City, NY. He enjoys collecting and breeding fish, skateboarding, and neurology. He enjoys all subjects in school that challenge him to the point where he can soon reach a greater understanding of the subject.

 

If only I got a quarter for every time I heard: “Sh*t!!! My parents can’t know about this!!”

 

Let’s be honest, everyone has been caught doing something they might not want to be seen doing. From secret pleasures and hobbies to activities that might anger others, we all have something that we like to keep private. With teens, especially, this privacy is something that is cherished and that often encompasses a wide breadth of activities and topics. Although there are a lot of topics to focus on, the two most important moments that make it or break it as a parent, when it comes to catching your teen, is when either you find out about them using drugs, or find out about them being sexually active.

 

These scenarios will probably happen to you as a parent of a teenager. The moment of realization is often a moment where you might think immediate confrontation would be the absolute best thing for both you and your teen. Nip it at the bud, you might think. However, this gut reaction often leads to heated arguments, unfair punishments, and can ruin anything you might have attempted to fix in the first place. So, let me tell you a few pieces of advice that, as a teen, have helped me get through these awkward moments.

 

Catching your teen taking, on, or holding drugs is often a reality check. Maybe your suspicions were confirmed, or you were completely found by surprise. If you haven’t already had the infamous “drug talk” with your teen, that would probably be a good time to do just that. Keep it friendly, open, and honest. Turning these conversations into hostile or extremely uncomfortable scenarios for both of you can create a tension that will take a very long time to pass. It’s important to know that often times, some teens know very little about drugs, apart from what their naïve peers have told them. They are probably just as scared as you are of taking them, and, relieving the tension might be the best way to create a good relationship where honesty and acceptance will thrive. Share stories and take moves that make the situation (which, to them, is already extremely awkward and unsettling) a bit easier on both of you. This will not only let more honest answers come through to your end, but it will also make you seem like someone who they can trust. It’s also important that you don’t give ultimatums. Don’t immediately ground your teen for months at a time the first time you catch them. By building this good relationship through trust exercises (like talking about uncomfortable situations in a friendly way), will allow them to understand the detriments of taking drugs, and, will relieve your stress as a parent when it comes to the matter.

 

Sex is also an extremely difficult subject to handle. Teen sex is often laced with ignorance. With thoughts like, “That won’t ever happen to me,” and “It’s only once” passing through the heads of your teen, it’s important that you talk to them early about the dangers and benefits of being sexually active, and, of course, alternative avenues for sexual release (awkward, I know). Finding condoms, birth control, or other contraceptive devices in your teens possession is not only a sign of caution, but, also of sexual activity. If you find something of that nature, it’s important to ask them whether or not they’re active, and, whether or not protection is always used. However, not finding any of these things doesn’t rule out the fact that they might be sexually active. Casually asking about the subject is a good idea, but can often lead to more secrecy. There might be lies, but building trust through personal anecdotes (and, please, keep these to a minimum! It might be the last thing your teen wants to hear) and views on sex make it easier for teens to trust you. Be open to the idea, keep your cool, and they’ll respect you.

 

And, please, remember to always think rationally. It is very easy to be blinded by a light of irrationality when it comes to thoughts of sex and drugs, especially when it concerns your son or daughter. Try to get past this, and think of ways to be firm on certain issues while still making the situations comfortable. The last thing you want is to scare your teen away from telling you things that they might have trouble understanding about sex and drugs, and, in turn, getting help from other inexperienced teens.

Photo Credit: Akbar Sim from Flickr