Teen:

1. Could you please drop me off at the dance and walk me in?
2. Mom, dad this is my new boyfriend he works at Planned Parenthood.
3. Dad, I don’t really want a mac, can I get a PC?
4. I feel that going to summer school could help improve my performance and educational development.
5. Boy: High school sucks, I never should have hooked up with so many girls.  Boy 2: Ya, just think of all of the respect you would have from our football coach if you had turned down the hook ups, you would be so much cooler.
6. Mom will you please tell me all about how you are doing with your menopausal symptoms?
7. I think the reason why everyone respects me so much is because I am so in touch with my feminine side.
8. I joined the Math club to get with girls not for like the mathathons. Duh.
9. Can we just have some cuddle time later?

Parent:

1. I just looked through your sock drawer and was so, so impressed with what I found.
2. I am so glad we saw Hannah Montana 2, it really solved the cliff hangers at the end of Hannah Montanna 1
3. Please honey, put on the Disney Channel and watch that episode of Kim Possible for the fourth time and tell me what you learned this time.
4. Why don’t you do your “Who is your hero?” paper on Kesha?
5. Dad: You know what’s really interesting? You, telling me all about how sally got her first period!
6. You know what would be great honey? Tonight for our date night lets rewatch old MTV music awards shows and imitate young female pop stars objectifying themselves.
7. Is that your new Gothic outfit? Honey, you look fabulous!

Things You Never Hear From a Teen/ Parent [Humor] is a post from: Radical Parenting

I am currently doing interviews with all of my interns for my book and one of our questions is:

What is a hot teen trend right now?

Almost every single teen has mentioned Silly Bandz. Silly Bandz are tiny rubber bracelets in the shapes of animals, household items, cowboy hats…you name it they got it. This is actually one trend I am happy to report about because they are reasonably priced and very safe.

Why are Silly Bandz catching on?

Here are the reasons our teens gave us:

1) They can be personalized

I think one of the reasons teens love these so much is that you can wear a cool bracelet others have, but there are a thousand different shapes and colors. Many teens like to pick out ones that match their personalities, hobbies or tastes.

2) They are cool

It seems that all kinds of teens are wearing them–boys, girls, techies, jocks, cheerleaders. They are a cool new social unifier.

3) They are allowed

Silly Bandz are no threat to parents–thank goodness! So, it is easy for teens to wear them without stepping on any toes.

4) They are affordable

They are relatively cheap for a trend and they go with every outfit!

Why do you or your teens wear Silly Bandz and do you think it will last?

Hot Teen Trend: Silly Bandz is a post from: Radical Parenting

As the third day of the Vans Warped Tour kicks off its sixteenth year of business, concert-goers and fans alike gather on a surprisingly clear and sunny day to Seaside Park in Ventura, California. The line wraps around from the entrance filled with people with neon bright extensions and metal jewelry. The clock strikes eleven and the crowd exchanges a jubilant cry of excitement while the performers prepare for the long day ahead. Those who were lucky enough to bring canned food to support Punk Junk and Feed Our Children receive a front-of-the-line pass. As for those who didn’t? Well, let’s just say the myriad of PETA supporters and music promoters kept them easily entertained.

Radical Parenting interns Alizen Rodriguez and Tashnia Hossain had the opportunity to learn more about some of this year’s performers, thanks to the MSO Company and Vanessa Van Petten. The object of the day: to get to the nitty gritty information about concert-to-parent disputes. Before the interview session began, Alizen and Tashnia took the time to ask people a few questions. While many fans go to concerts for the music and the chance to engage with strangers who share a common interest, parents seem to have a different opinion on the atmosphere. One of the biggest misconceptions parents tend to have is the presence of drugs and alcohol that ultimately lead to general violence.  Many events like Warped Tour keep a strict policy that prohibits entrance to the park if caught with such materials. Other events that are more lenient with the idea designate areas for smoking in an attempt to appease those who do not enjoy its presence.  These actions are made to prevent discomfort, injuries, and other occurrences throughout the duration of the concert.

Far From Finished’s rhythm guitarist Oscar Capps, who is a father of two sons, says, “Expose them to drugs! Alcohol! All the bad stuff! Be honest with your kids. You can’t hide them from everything, you just got to guide them in their own way and let them make their own decisions.”

While he may hold true, does exposing the truth keep teenagers away from using them? One concert-goer says, “My parents always trusted me not to do drugs and stuff. I mean, all my friends were doing it and sometimes I kinda just felt like trying it out, but if my mom trusted me enough to know I wouldn’t do it, then I don’t wanna go behind her back and do drugs. My friends think I’m weird, but I just don’t see how doing drugs and drinking makes people cool. It isn’t, it’s stupid.”

And she’s right, doing drugs and drinking alcohol isn’t an easy way to be cool. But illegal substances aren’t the only problems parents care about when it comes to concerts. Mike Posner, who is best known for his song Cooler Than Me, says, “Well concerts really aren’t that bad to begin with. It’s not what you’d expect. The movies definitely make it worse than it really is.”

Tarcy Thomason, lead singer of Artist VS Poet, replies, “Well it’s always a good idea to bring kids if they’re old enough. You know, just so they get a feel of the whole concert idea. I mean if they’re not old enough, then just give them some headphones or something. But definitely bring them to a concert if it’s possible. Teach them about music, so that they know if it’s right for them or not.”

The misconception parents have about concerts may be thanks to concerts that are best known for their rather lenient rules of regulation such as Coachella and Electric Daisy Carnival, two events 10 out of 10 teenagers agree they would never let their children attend. But is keeping children away from these bad influences the real reason parents are so harsh, or is it a lack of a close relationship?

Cassadee Pope, lead singer of Hey Monday, advises, “Don’t lose touch with your family, talk to your kids. Definitely talk to them. Be there for the worst and best time of their lives and maintain that connection.” As a high school graduate who opted out of attending college, she knows about the benefits of being close to her parents, who were supportive of her decision to start a band.

One may wonder, what exactly does a concert have to do with parenting? It may seem odd, but allowing your child the ability to go places they are eager to go to will help build a stronger relationship. 100% of teenagers surveyed agree that they are closer to their parents because they are allowed to attend concerts, parties and other such events.

“This is a changing world. Kids are growing up faster with changing minds. All we have to offer is unconditional love and support, because love is what will take us places,” says Christofer Drew of NeverShoutNever.

Do you love your children enough to give them that luxury?

Far From Finished

Alizen: Well it seems to me as if you guys are newcomers to the whole tour, so let’s do a brief bio before we begin. Where are you guys from and how did the band form?
Oscar Capps: We are originally from Boston, Massachussetts, and we actually formed a little bit near the end of high school. We just grabbed a bunch of guys and figured we’d rather make music than go to college and ever since then we’ve been trying to do that. We’ve been together for four years.

Alizen: Wow, that’s quite some time. How did your parents feel about you leaving high school to pursue your passion?
Oscar: Well we all graduated, and I went to college for three years. I guess this is relevant to parenting, since I wasn’t really close to mine.  They didn’t like the whole idea.

Alizen: Yeah, I can see where you’re coming from. Most teenagers don’t have very close relationships with their parents.
Oscar: Right. I would definitely recommend talking to your kids, ‘cause my parents never did. I guess, you know, if I were closer they’d understand more about why I chose to do this. I’m actually a parent though, have been for eight years.

Alizen: You’re very young to be a parent, or maybe it’s just my assumption that parents should look like middle-aged people, haha. From the looks of it though, I would assume that you were going out during high school?
Oscar: Yeah, we were…. I guess you would call it high school sweethearts. Got pregnant during high school, but I never saw it in a bad way. I’m still with her and we have two sons now.

Alizen: That’s good to hear! How do you feel about your children have a famous dad? I guess, how you deal with tours and being apart from them?
Oscar: Well the boys go to school, so it isn’t very bad. I mean yeah, it kind of sucks that I’m not always with them, and my wife’s just home with them, but I do what I can. I don’t really stick to the whole rules of parenting. I try to be my own. Try something new.

Alizen: Sounds like the makings of a great foundation!
Steve Neary: Yeah, and actually we like to call ourselves the DIY Band, the Do it Yourself band, because if no one will do anything for you, you gotta do it yourself to be famous.

Alizen: You’re absolutely right. Well, seeing as how you guys are from Boston, Ventura must be some new ground. Who would you say is your favorite performer in the tour?
Oscar: Definitely a fan of the Bouncing Souls. We love to watch them perform.
Steve: The Sparring, they’re also great. They’re one of good friends.

Alizen: Now because we work with Radical Parenting, an organization that teaches parents how to be better parents through the teenage perspective, what advice do you have for them regarding concerts?

Oscar: Expose them to drugs! Alcohol! All the bad stuff! (laughs) Well all joking aside, like I said, try to be your own kind of parent. Be honest with your kids. You can’t hide them from everything, you just gotta guide them in their own way and let them make their own decisions.
Steve: And talk to your kids. That’s one of the most important things, building a strong relationship with them.

Mike Posner

Mike Posner, best known for his hit song “Cooler Than Me”, was lucky enough to earn a spot on The Vans Warped Tour. While the tour is best known for its rock genre, Posner was added in the hopes of bringing a fresh atmosphere to their sixteenth year of existence. Tashnia and I had the pleasure of meeting this warm character after being interviewed by CBS.

Tashnia: I have read that you’re the son of a pharmacist and an attorney; have you ever felt compelled that you must follow the same career path?
Mike Posner: Not at all. My parents were very supportive of my decision. I love music, and I started making music at a very young age.

Tashnia: What made you want to become a singer, songwriter, and producer at such a young age?
Mike: I started very young and I can’t imagine my life without it. I love it.

Tashnia: Your new single, “Cooler than me,” has become quite successful and has climbed the Billboard Hot 100 to reach No. 8. What other hit singles can we be expecting?
Mike: My new song “Please Don’t Go” is going to be airing on the radio very soon, so you can expect that.

Tashnia: Your debut album entitled “35 Minutes to Takeoff” is to be released in August; what kind of music influences will be featured on the album?
Mike: Since I’m from Michigan, I kind of have that mo-town influence, but I listen to everyone: Jay Z, Led Zeppelin, Radiohead. It’s a totally unique sound.

Tashnia: Because we work for Radical Parenting, an organization that teaches parents how to be BETTER parents through the teenage perspective, what advice would you give regarding concerts?
Mike: Well concerts really aren’t that bad to begin with. It’s not what you’d expect, the movies definitely make it worse than it really is. Be supportive of your children because life is about two H’s: Health and Happiness. Follow your dreams and do something now. Looking back on it a few years later, you may laugh about it.

A Parent’s Guide to the Vans Warped Tour is a post from: Radical Parenting

Neyat is an Eritrean-American girl who is an aspiring writer. She enjoys reading teen fiction, looking up obscure music artists and celebrities on Wikipedia, and traveling. She hopes that one day when you teens are tired and middle-aged, you will walk into your local bookstore (to get away from your spouse and kids) and you will notice a book on the front display with her name on it as the bestselling author.

Growing up as an Eritrean-American, I quickly came to realize that I was a pretty good definition of the word minority. When most hear the word, minority, it is usually synonymous to African Americans, or Latinos, or even Asians. I knew from an early age that I was the epitome of minority when I sat down to take my first state test in school, and there was no “Eritrean” box to check. I constantly find myself checking “other” when filling out applications. As I got older, I became very convinced with my realization, when many didn’t even know what Eritrean was or meant. Though, my race never fails at breaking the ice in an awkward silence.

“Oh, wow, you look so, uhh, exotic! Where exactly are you from?”

“Um, thanks, I’m actually from Eritrea.”

“Eritrea (usually mispronounced)..mhmm…oh. Uh, dear, where is that?”

“Eritrea is a small country in East Africa; it got its independence from Ethiopia not too long ago.”

“Oh, I see, I’ve heard of Ethiopia.”

And that’s how many conversations are started. The clarification of my race. But, oh no, don’t think for a second that my race is only mentioned in instances such as that one. You’d be surprised how terrible many are at guessing. Even though some are just sure they have a hunch. You see, people love to think they’re on a game show while trying to guess my race. I often feel like Alex Trebek. “Guess My Race for $500, Alex!” If only guessing my race was half as easy as some of the vexing questions on Jeopardy.

“Ooh, you look just like my co-worker, you must be Indian.”

“Oh no, I’m actually Eritrean.”

Feeling defeated, “Oh, humph. I was certain you were from India.”

Or in either an attempt at a joke, or sheer cluelessness, I hear this one.

“Oh wow, your last name is Yohannes…that sounds a lot like “Your highness”, could you possibly be an Egyptian princess in hiding?”

I hopelessly shake my head at this one and let out a hearty chuckle.

And then, there are those who try to question my knowledge of my own race.

“Oh, you look different, are you mixed with something?

“Nope. I’m just Eritrean, but I was born here in America.”

“Are you sure about that? Because you look like you could be Middle Eastern or something…”

“Yes, ma’am, I’m positive.”

“Oh, well, alright then.”

I’m sure this plethora of anecdotes proves my case in point. I am undoubtedly, a minority. However, I am not alone in this boat on the river of minority; aside from my parents and sisters, I have Shushan, who’s right there in the boat with me, holding the other paddle. Shushan is my cousin who lives in Santa Rosa, California. Though, I’m here in Southern California, and Shushan is in Northern California, the two of us probably share more conversations in a week, than my friends and I do in school each day. Shushan and I are part of the rare, in fact endangered species of teen, who actually still communicate over the phone. Shushan and I share far more than the blood of our mothers. Along with the exact same blood streaming though our veins, Shushan and I have had identical upbringings. We were raised with the old, Eritrean traditions and customs, intertwined with the less traditional ways of America. Shushan and I have forever been side by side on the quest to find the right blend of our parents’ culture, with the one we are growing up with, here in America. And, I can’t say without lying, that I would never survive trying to find this balance without Shushan. She is my Northern Californian rock. Or on those tough days, boulder.

Many might find inspiring words in novels, or poems, or songs, and I can’t say I haven’t, but a majority of the words that I find truly motivating are uttered by good ol’ Shushan. She always knows just what to say, to make whatever’s troubling me seem miniscule. Shushan never allows me to hang up the phone upset. We usually start our phone conversations in fits of complaints, but we never end them without being in fits of laughter.

It wasn’t too long ago, that Shushan said something meaningful to me. About a year ago, I dialed Shushan’s number with a list, even too long for Santa, of complaints I had. Shushan patiently allowed me to recite my list of grievances.

“Ugh. I’m so sick of school, I just failed the math test I studied so long for, my friends keep arguing with each other, I feel like I have no life, my parents won’t understand that some Eritrean customs just won’t cut it here in America…”

She let me go on and on as always, and then of course I let her ramble on about her trials and tribulations, and then we ended our conversation with something a bit different. Of course, we did giggle up a storm, but before she hung up, Shushan ended with her usual “I love you”, but this time she added “maarey”. Maarey means honey in Tigrinya, which is the native tongue of Eritrea. It’s a common term of endearment that usually spills out of the mouths of Eritrean mothers. So, I was taken by surprise when I heard it rolling off of Shushan’s tongue. Before I had time to respond to the new addition to Shushan’s vocabulary, she’d already hung up.

I don’t know what possessed Shushan to use our country’s vernacular while talking to me; we usually reserved bouts in our dialect for when our grandmother was around. But whatever it was that moved Shushan to call me maarey, it really struck a chord with me. Her slow drawl of “I love you, maarey” resonated through my head and ricocheted about my thoughts, interrupting my mind from conceiving angry or sad thoughts. When my mother or any Eritrean woman for that matter, called me maarey, I never really thought about it, but coming out of Shushan’s mouth, it truly had meaning.

From that day on, Shushan and I have added maarey to our daily terminology when speaking to each other. Every phone call, email, text, or Facebook post, ends with maarey. It’s become a ritual of sorts. It’s a reassurance that there’s someone else out there who not only understands the meaning of that word, but can also relate to almost every aspect of my life as a minority. Shushan is my cousin, friend, psychiatrist, fashion consultant, celebrity gossip columnist, fortune teller, fellow dreamer, pen pal, rock, and boulder (some days). She’s all of those things and more, but above all, Shushan is my maarey.

Maarey: A Story about Assimilation is a post from: Radical Parenting

Karis is a 16-year-old living in Middle Earth most of the time. She wishes that she were born 10000 years in the future (or however long it takes to reach the pinnacle of human civilization). She can normally be found between the pages of a book or in the kitchen.

NOTE: The names of all the people mentioned in this article have been changed to protect their privacy.

My friend’s name is Anna Choi.

She’s one of my best friends. She’s a citizen of the Republic of Korea, but has been living here since she was 18 months old. She celebrated her 18^th birthday on April 5^th amongst her close friends and her boyfriend. She has two parents and a little brother. Her mother is studying to become a nurse, while her father supports the family. She’s pretty much a straight B student with a couple Cs interspersed, but that matters little as she has just completed her last year of high school and got accepted into one of her first choice colleges.

Sound’s pretty normal, right?

Her maternal grandparents in Korea have accumulated millions in debt due to her grandfather having lost all his money to a young bimbo who ran away with it. Her maternal grandmother is dying of cancer right now.

Her mother and father had recently gotten a divorce following her birthday due to information coming out about her father having an affair with a woman from his church for over a year. The mistress is a rich millionaire and operates her own private tailoring company. The divorce happened within a month and her mother was left with only $20,000, enough to live for 6 months in the DC Metropolitan area.

Her mother can no longer afford nursing school and is forced to work a menial day-job at a Korean grocery market. Her mother is also burdened with the debt of her own parents in Korea, according to Korean debt inheritance laws. She’s expected to pay back millions of dollars with a job at grocery store.

Sound’s pretty horrible, right? Well, it gets worse.

The outing of the affair was no accident. It was a carefully planned event coinciding with Anna’s birthday. Once Anna turned 18 her parents are no longer responsible for her as she is now a ‘legal’ adult. Her mother can’t take her in, as she can’t afford to. So that left Anna with her adulterer father who had abused her and hit her for her entire life.

At the new apartment the mistress has rented for her father, she is left alone four days out of the week. She can’t drive, because her father didn’t allow her to get her license, much less learner’s permit. She can’t work due to her visa status; she has no work permit. Her father refuses to pay for her college despite a clause in the divorce papers stating that he must pay for her education and house her until she is 21. She can’t sue because she has no money. (And even if she could, according to the mistress, “the richer person always wins.”)

The mistress is the embodiment of fairytale evil stepmothers; rich, obsessed with makeup and youth, and mean. It was the mistress’s idea to wait one year for her and Anna’s father to get married, so that they are able to cut her out of Green Card naturalization when her father marries that woman. It was the mistress who coldly suggested that Anna should go “work the streets, if you can’t find a proper job. Go stand on a corner and sell your body.” It was the mistress who coldly said that she was kicking Anna out of the apartment in 6 months, even though her work permit doesn’t come in for another 7-8 months.

Sound’s terrible; imagine living it.

This is the true story about one of my closest friends. This is what she is living right now.

Her life sounds like a story and like a story, full of archetypical characters. There’s the evil stepmother, the money-grubbing miserly father, the cowardly mother, the naïve brother, and the victimized girl. It all just sounds so impossible, but the thing I have the most trouble swallowing is her biological parents’ total lack of care and maternal/paternal feelings towards her.

Her mother doesn’t want her because she’s more concerned with her own future. I can completely understand that. Self-preservation is one of the most vital instincts a person can have. But her mother refuses to let her visit her new apartment, refuses to tell Anna where she now lives, refuses to see them unless there are pre-scheduled.

Her father is so blinded by money and greed that he has effectively disowned his own daughter. But her father didn’t care for her much anyways. He had beaten her and abused her for her entire life. When she was nine years old, he had once locked her in the garage for the entire weekend with nothing but water. Her father doesn’t even consider her family anymore.

I was at their apartment when Andrew, her brother, came into Anna’s room and excitedly announced, “We’re all going to China Star (a restaurant) together!”

The father then said “Not Anna.”

Andrew looked confused and said “But you said it was the whole family.”

The father responded “Anna’s not coming.”

Anna responded “Andrew, family means you, that man,” she points to her father, “the woman and her daughter. Not me.”

The completely blasé attitude of both her parents infuriates me. Family is always supposed to be there. But they are not. Anna is not alone however; she has her network of close friends who stand by her and support her.

Anna’s case of neglect and abuse makes me ponder who else is stuck in a similar predicament—a situation where one is unable to do anything legally due to surreptitious scheming. It also makes me wonder what sort of impetus was it that caused her parents to effectively abandon her. A survival instinct? Money blindness?

I thought that family was supposed to come first.

Why do Parents Stop Loving Their Children? is a post from: Radical Parenting

Here are a few ways you can encourage young writers in your family.

1. Family History

Have your kids write and research a family history.  This will get them to interview grandparents and aunts and uncles while also practicing their research and writing skills…a great Christmas gift for the grandparents!

2. Thank You Notes

Make sure your kids always send thank you notes and follow-up notes.  Not only is this very polite, but it will get them in the habit of writing formal letters and expressing their gratitude and feelings on paper.

3. Letters to Family

Every time you travel your kids should be writing letters about their travels home.  They should also write a letter to grandma or a distant pen pal cousin every other month or so.  Letters are great keepsakes and will help them express themselves to others.

4. Write Restaurant Reviews/ Movie Reviews

Have your kids write movie or restaurant reviews on their favorite (or least favorite places).  This is also a good way to turn complaints or whines about food or movies into actual learning pieces.

5. Travel Journal or Diary

If your can get your kids to keep a diary—even if it is once a month, this is great practice.  Every time you travel they should be writing down their thoughts and ideas about what they are seeing and feeling.

6. Petition for Rules

Get your kids into the habit of writing down their arguments.  If they want a later bedtime, tell them to petition you in writing.  Persuasive writing is the most difficult and getting them in the habit early. It will also make them think twice about asking for something!

7. Creative Writing

Have them do creative writing assignments at home.  You can have them write a creative piece called: “what I didn’t do over spring break” if they were not able to go anywhere.  Or have them write a piece from the point of view of the fridge, imagining what your family seems like to an outsider! Anything creative will get those juices flowing.

8. Vocab of the Week

Every Sunday night have everyone bring the weirdest word they encountered that week.  Or get a word of the day calendar and go over it every dinnertime—the person who can fit it into conversation gets to pick dessert.

9. Read Aloud

Whatever you have them write, whether it is for school or pleasure make sure they are reading it aloud before they hand it in.  This is the best way to catch typos and it is a good habit for them to have.

10. Post Essays on the Fridge

Display essays, writing pieces and articles on the fridge like artwork.  Show them it is good to be proud of your writing and it is an essential skill to have.

Good writing is an essential skill for young people to have.  It is also important for kids to appreciate and value writing as a skill.  Get creative with them and let your passion for writing show through and they will be sure to show you theirs!

10 Ways Parents Can Encourage and Motivate Young Writers is a post from: Radical Parenting

By Michele Howe, author Burdens Do a Body Good

Kids make messes. Big messes. Small messes. Some we can laugh about, others, not so much. Little kids with chocolate smeared faces and sticky fingers can make us smile. Big kids with bad attitudes, failing grades, and a speeding ticket can make us weep. Messes, they’re a part of life and we might well ask how much of our time is spent cleaning them up, our messes and those of our kids. If we’re real honest, sometimes the two overlap and maybe, just maybe…our parental messes cause or provoke some of those our kids get mired in. Then again, maybe not. Messy stuff.

Either way, a mess of any significant proportion has to be faced and dealt with sooner rather than later. As parents we want to believe that we’ve done all we can to prepare our children for adulthood and for that next step of independence they’re continually clamoring for. And yet when we adopt that no longer helpful, “let me fix it for you” response to our older children’s actions, it gives us away. At this important stepping out juncture, we must ask ourselves hard questions. Are we enabling (excusing) or ennobling (exhorting) our offspring through our intervention? Mind-boggling, isn’t it, the mess we make by not understanding the difference. Moms enable their kids when they excuse or make excuse for their children’s poor choices. Moms can ennoble their kids by doing precisely the opposite. No excuses. No justifying. No condoning. Nothing doing. Nope. None of that. Not now, not ever. Not even a possibility. Clean it up, now. Mind your own mess.

Women, who give way and make excuses for their kids’ behavior, find it is easier in the short run. The kids don’t grouse or complain and they walk away feeling like they got away with something. And really, we know they didn’t, they know they didn’t. There’s no escaping from the repercussions of our decisions, be they little or large and to give kids a false sense of security on this front is mindlessly shortsighted at best. At worst, the messes our kids will make with their lives if they believe they can do what they want, when they want, and with whom they want, will only hurt them (and others) over the long stretch of adulthood.

Kids with moms who are perpetually cleaning up after them are (or likely will be) young adults who are ill equipped to stay in school, enter the job force, or sustain any type of lasting relationship…just won’t happen, especially when life gets messy-hard (and it will). Their messes will continue to getter bigger and more confounding, and with ever-widening circles of clutter. Messier and messier. Until no one, not even their family will want to get close enough to even attempt to unravel the monstrosity.

When moms excuse their kids from living responsibly it’s a simple case of “benign neglect” which in medical speak means, “watching a problem clinically without really treating it.” Moms can sit and observe their kids’ behavior while doing absolutely nothing about treating (or correcting it). This type of parental neglect couldn’t be more detrimental. Not to forget self-perpetuating. One mess-ridden pile on top of another. Painful. Neglectful. And it could be…preventable.

Takeaway Action Thought: While not all parent/child relational messes are avoidable, many of them are preventable.

Weight Bearing Exercises

Women are experts at cleaning up other people’s messes. Just comes naturally, that nurturing bent to help someone get through a tough time, overcome a difficulty, or simply walk alongside in friendly fashion. When it comes to taking care of their young adult children, roles necessarily shift and women can no longer dictate in their former “what’s best for you” mom-mode. Still, armed with facts in hand, moms can continue to be the “go-to person” when their kids have questions, concerns, or just aren’t sure. Given their kids will come to them for advice, moms need to know some of the mistakes made most often in health-related issues. See below for some of the commonest taken for granted areas of good health.

• FACT: Children, teens and young adults live for the moment. From their standpoint, today is all that matters, tomorrow is too far away. As a result, they seldom think about what they do today and how it will affect them tomorrow or next month or even in years to come. Young people have little awareness that today’s choices can have profound effects on their health as an adult.
• STATISTICS: According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 16 percent of today’s children ages 6 to 19 are overweight. This percentage represents 9 million children. Alarmingly, the number has tripled since 1980. The obese child is at risk for numerous health problems. These include diabetes, coronary artery disease, asthma, hypertension and sleep apnea.
• PREVENTION: Experts agree that inactivity and poor eating habits contribute to obesity. National guidelines recommend 150 minutes of physical activity each week for elementary children and 225 minutes for older children. Most children do not meet this modest level of physical activity on a weekly basis.
• CONSEQUENCES: It is important for parents to ensure that their children (teens, and young adults) eat a healthy balanced diet and exercise regularly. The CDC reports that 80 percent of obese 10-15 years olds become obese adults. Clearly, it is vital for parents to set the bar early on for a healthy weight and activity level as failure to do so will likely carry a lifetime of obesity related problems.

By Michele Howe, author Burdens Do a Body Good, Single Parenting Columnist http://michelehowe.wordpress.com/

Childrearing: When Parents Pass on the Torch of Responsibility [Guest Post] is a post from: Radical Parenting

很多时候在生活里, 我们附近大人门提供很多建议和意见不管是家长或老师还有有时侯我们身边的朋友. 因为我们的年龄, 我们所经历地还有成长过地只是生活里面的一个小小的一部分以后我们会经历地;我们父母亲已经走过地路. 即使有的时候他们所告诉我们的事情一开始听起来怪怪的, 但是现在我真的感谢他们告诉我这些知识. 我还很小的时候, 我的父母曾经告诉我有三个方法可以帮助你达成你的梦想. 我每天都按照以下的步走帮助我达成我自己的梦想. 这三个方法一开始显得容易但是他们比想象的难. 希望你也会达成你的梦想.

1.      坚持. 在生活里, 是不可能不有一些困难在走的路或者被困难所挡住但是那即使发生了, 不要轻易放弃也不要站下来. 即使生活很困难, 总是要继续走不管路显得多困难. 如果你坚持你的梦想,你总有一天你会实现它的.

2.      保持一积极的态度. 我知道从生活的困难在每一天, 总是很困难去面对每一个事情和人总是有一个乐观的态度. 我们被打倒的时候, 重新站起来需要很大的决心和勇气. 即使事情很遭, 还是面对每一天带着微笑. 记得要开心因为那是最重要的事情在生活里但它也给你一个更好的关于这一个问题的观点，并激励你继续努力.

3.      努力. 你不可能期望你会成功地如果你没有认真的努力. 如果你一直尽你最大的努力, 在结束的时候, 不管情况怎么样, 你不会有任何的遗憾因为你已经尽力了.

这十二个字已经在我生命里起了很大的作用. 希望在你的生命里也会!

追求自己的梦想 is a post from: Radical Parenting

Daphne is a sixteen-year-old from California. Her interests pertain to everything, but most of her activities revolve around writing, reading, playing music, dance, travel, and chillaxing with the fambam and friends.

While visiting the Philippines in the past month, I had the pleasure of visiting my mom’s alma mater in her rural hometown. I had visited the Philippines in 2006, but every time I arrived it was a shock: the houses, the beautiful jungles, the beaches, the people. It was a world away from the United States. Third world, to be exact. But I loved the Philippines every time I went. I even embraced the humidity, unlike other members of my family, even my mother and father who had grown up here. Seeing family that I also loved but rarely got to see was probably the height of the experience. Therefore when my sister, inspired by meeting the Norwegian foreign exchange student her best friend hosted, came up with the idea of visiting my cousin’s high school, I was excited when our half day there was reaffirmed with the school’s principal.

The high school was extremely small. Only two classrooms were available for the freshman class, and one classroom for each of the other years above it. In the Philippines, the education system does not include seventh and eighth grades, so while my cousin was in her second year of high school, most of the kids in the classroom were either thirteen or fourteen. Everyone was extremely familiar with each other, so when my sister and I came walking through the courtyard with our cousin without uniforms we received plenty of stares. My cousin told me later on that her classmates had initially believed she would bring Americans to the school, mostly because when they heard American, they imagined Caucasian teenagers.

The first subject of the day was English, and my sister and I were able to read along with the lesson to see how they were learning their sentence structures. During the group projects, a lot of the other kids surrounded us in their curiosity. I was a little uncertain of myself at first. If my classmates had been staring at me like that in the States without returning my smiles, I would have thought they found something wrong with me. ”Many of them want to make friends with you,” my cousin explained, “but they’re shy about their English. They don’t want to sound stupid.” I told her to encourage them to talk to us- since my sister and I could barely speak Filipino, I thought it was fair. We would take turns trying to communicate with each other.

Religion was a large part of the school day. Every time a teacher entered or left a classroom, the students stood up to pray and then in unison, would welcome the teacher to the classroom or thank them for teaching the class. The students then sat in wooden armchairs that my mother claimed to have actually used while she was going to school there. At one point during the day, we gathered in another room to practice prayers and songs in English for a mass they were going to hold the next day. Afterwards, the students had a computer class in an airconditioned room where they were required to wear foot socks so that they wouldn’t mess up the floor. “Computers is our favorite class of the day because of the air conditioning,” my cousin laughingly explained. The classrooms only had two fans hanging from the ceiling, and one was broken.

My sister and I wanted to sit in for only a half day because we knew it would become unbearably hot in the afternoon, and they would be practicing outside for an acquaintance program the next day. We were invited to come again in the morning to watch the final performance of the dance. The school year in the Philippines runs from June to the beginning of March, so the acquaintance program was to serve as a kind of homecoming event. The next morning, we reunited with the friends we had made the previous day and attended a Mass celebrating a new school year. At the end of the mass, students acted as if they were at a rally as they received “Gifts for the Year”. The tradition handed out a gift of Wisdom or Courage for each of the classes to represent. We returned back to the classrooms and everyone changed into their costumes for their respective dances that were to be performed on the basketball court. The event reminded me of typical Filipino gatherings involving a lot of food, singing, and dancing. By lunchtime, my sister and I were sad to see our uncle ready to pick us up at the gate. “Facebook!” the kids joked. “We’ll always see each other there!”

Despite the drastically contrasting environments, the kids still found joy in the same types of things. Actually, most of them could not afford many of the techonological entertainment that many American teens have, like iPhones or computers of any sort. Essentially, however, they enjoyed the same exact things. They loved to hang out with their friends. They loved to laugh, share stories, and even gossip. They wanted to get jobs and some were concerned with attending prestigious colleges and some just wanted to hang out. In every classroom, there was a class clown or a beauty queen. Like a majority of teens, they even possessed the familiar angst that leads most kids to want to leave the confines of their home and their value. I will definitely miss the kids that made this experience so great.

My Experience in a Filipino High School is a post from: Radical Parenting

Wendy is a 13-year-old from Andover, MA. She enjoys art, dance, community service, music, volleyball, and track and field.

Many times in life, we as kids are given advice by the adults that surround us whether they are parents or teachers but also from our peers. Because of our age, the experiences and growth we go through are only tiny snapshots of the ones to come; the ones that our parents had once had to go through. And even though sometimes the things they tell me sound ridiculous at first, as I move on through life’s adventures, I truly benefit from the guidance they give me on the way.

When I was still young, my parents once told me there were 3 ways of helping you to achieve your dream and by following these steps everyday, I have made my way closer to achieving mine. These three steps may seem easy at first but they are harder than they seem. Hopefully, you too will be able to reach your goals with the help of these pieces of advice.

1.       Persevere. In life, it is impossible to not hit a few bumps in the road or be blocked by the obstacles life puts in front of you but even when that happens, don’t give up and do not back down. Even when times get tough, hold your head up high and continue to move on no matter how difficult it seems at first. As long as you persevere, what you want will no longer be that far away.

2.       Keep a positive mind. I know that through the conflicts we face everyday; it is truly a struggle to always face each and every day with an optimistic attitude. When life puts us down, getting back up requires determination and strength from the inside. And even when you think things could never turn out more worse than the situation you are in right now, still keep a smile on your face and remember to be happy because not only is that the most important thing in life but also it gives you a better perspective on the subject and motivates you to keep on working harder.

3.       Work hard. You can’t expect to succeed without first putting your best foot forward. As long as you try your best, in the end, no matter what the outcome is, you will have nothing to regret because you already did the best of your ability.

Just these seven words right here have made an everlasting impact on my life and hopefully they will do the same for you!

Achieving your Dreams is a post from: Radical Parenting