What Kind of Kid Do You Have? The 4 Types of Millenials

Recently, I have been speaking at corporations and parent groups about the four types of net-gen kids they might encounter in the workplace.  Since, the presentation has been so well received and powerful, I realized that modern parenting is affecting how kids perform and act in the workplace as well as in High School and at home.

Which type of kid have you seen? Which type of kid do you have? (see links for my more detailed articles on these categories)

Teacups

Teacup parenting has produced teacup kids.  These are kids who are extremely fragile and nuanced to their own discomforts or problems.  They have an extremely difficult time handling criticism or rejection and tend to fear anything that they might not succeed in.  When they get to jobs, college or difficult high school classes they tend to breakdown or need a huge amount of outside support.

Toasties

This is me.  These kids were heavily overloaded starting from a very young age.  Dance class, violin class, band, volleyball, SAT’s you name it they were doing it.  They worked so hard from so young, they never really had time to play and as they get older they become more and more burnt-out.  They tend to pick jobs and careers that sound/pay great, but have no idea what their true passions are and are exhausted when they finally get to college, then to a job, then finally to retirement.

Turtles

My new category.  These are kids who assume ‘it will all work out fine’ and they do not need to put in any work to get anything back.  They do the least amount of work/homework/energy possible and shirk all kinds of discomfort or responsibility by going into their shells.  They tend to be lazy, apathetic and passionless…unless of course it is their video game.

Tyrants

Everyone knows a gen y tyrant.  Parents have been telling them they are special, special, special and their poo smells like roses.  They want the best, and they are going to get it.  They tend to be very aggressive and assume that they are the center of attention and everyone’s mental activity.  They are willing to work a little, but better see big rewards and be congratulated on their hard work.

Of course, you can be a combination of one or two and come kids only have vague symptoms of one category, but are mostly fine (amazing!).  When I speak to parents and kids I bring up these categories and am always surprised to see people raise their hands (especially teens) and say “I just realized, I am a ____” and that is where the healing begins.

Stay tuned to my blgo for more to come on how to avoid encouraging these behaviors and how to leverage a teacup vs toasties assets.  If you are interested in participating with me on this research or having me speak to your company/group/school about these topics and how to fix them please see onteenstoday.com/speaker.

11 thoughts on “What Kind of Kid Do You Have? The 4 Types of Millenials”

  1. Aha! The notorious toasty parenting. I used to live in America (but am french) and have noticed by the tender age of 9, that my classmates had schedules tighter than a politician’s. Everyday, a new activity. Swimming, pottery, piano, baseball, ballet, karate from day rise to sunset, children activities were always monitored. even playing was done by appointment in something called “playdates”. I don’t mean to generalize but it seems that this method. along with “child-worship”is quite frequent in North America, am I right?

  2. I have been saying this for years I see it all the time. I work in construction and the kids no longer feel they need to work. They no longer know how to follow directions. They don’t listen. They have been told how great they are for doing nothing aside from given everything. Why should not the rest of the world treat them like their parents have. Or should I say mom (Not all Moms I know) has when the father leaves the mother seems to think the kids need to be given everything and have everything done for them to make up for dad not being around. Then when they reach about 18 the mother has had enough of being their slave and tells them to go get a job and be a man. They do not know how because they were never taught. Then they wind up dealing with a man and asked to do a mans work if they expect to be paid and they crumble and complain that “He’s just picking on me” They get away with it in school because every time they fail their parents or parent is there to threaten the school with a lawsuit so the strandard gets lowered for everyone. Any way I agree with your article. I took a case managment course and the consenses of most of the people (women) was that I was an Idiot.

  3. I went back and read your Blog I agree a thousand percent most parents do not mentor. My wife always said it is easier to do it your self. I told her over and over yes but the kids do not learn the skills to deal with life when they grow up. She also said let him learn it for himself. (Her son) I said you do not make money re inventing the wheel. You first learn all you can about it from some one else then add to that, find a new way to use it etc. You only get paid for one thing in life that is solving someone else’s problems. If you haven’t been given the skills to deal with your own how can you ever begin to deal with a job solving other peoples problems. Remember anything is easy if you know how. If you have had to solve problems as a kid you gradually gain confidence and that lets you solve more complicated problems. You build on the ground work from before. If as a parent if you do everything for your kids then you deprive them of the learning experience of solving problems. ( do not mean just telling them to do something with out showing them how) First you help them clean the room, then (not just once) but at some point you start them doing it and then you say I have to go for a minute I’ll be right back. Next you add making the bed, Taking the dishes from the table, moping the floor. You are building skills and confidence. As this builds you give them the whole responsibility for the job and also the choice of when to do it. Make the bed before or after breakfast. Wash dishes right now or when I take a break from home work??? If you do this by the time you reach the age to leave home you have gained the skills needed to be an adult, make adult decisions and lead another family into a new generation. I do feel sorry for you kids because you are not getting this. Loved your article and will be sure to revisit.

  4. I went back and read your Blog I agree a thousand percent most parents do not mentor. My wife always said it is easier to do it your self. I told her over and over yes but the kids do not learn the skills to deal with life when they grow up. She also said let him learn it for himself. (Her son) I said you do not make money re inventing the wheel. You first learn all you can about it from some one else then add to that, find a new way to use it etc. You only get paid for one thing in life that is solving someone else’s problems. If you haven’t been given the skills to deal with your own how can you ever begin to deal with a job solving other peoples problems. Remember anything is easy if you know how. If you have had to solve problems as a kid you gradually gain confidence and that lets you solve more complicated problems. You build on the ground work from before. If as a parent if you do everything for your kids then you deprive them of the learning experience of solving problems. ( do not mean just telling them to do something with out showing them how) First you help them clean the room, then (not just once) but at some point you start them doing it and then you say I have to go for a minute I’ll be right back. Next you add making the bed, Taking the dishes from the table, moping the floor. You are building skills and confidence. As this builds you give them the whole responsibility for the job and also the choice of when to do it. Make the bed before or after breakfast. Wash dishes right now or when I take a break from home work??? If you do this by the time you reach the age to leave home you have gained the skills needed to be an adult, make adult decisions and lead another family into a new generation. I do feel sorry for you kids because you are not getting this. Loved your article and will be sure to revisit.

  5. This topic, re: teacups vs. turtles vs, tyrants is a tough one. I can accept responsibility for making my kids’ lives too easy at times, by doing things for them that My own parents would never have even considered, like constantly acting being a taxi cab service, not asking them to help more around the house, or giving them money when the act actually then prevented me from being able to do what I wanted to do. In some ways, when I was a teen, I felt too responsible; like my parents just expected that I would be “just fine”, giving clear vibes that if I wasn’t,well they didn’t want to hear about it. My father expected me to place 8 cents by the phone for each call I made on “his” phone.I frequently walked miles, when I should’ve been picked up, for safety’s sake. At the time, it was still possible for a teen to declare independence from parents (at age 18)and obtain student loans and grants with their cosignature, thank goodness, because my folks announced in my senior year that they werenot funding one dime of my education. Not so anymore. I’m happy to say my kids never got sexually assaulted (I was), they talk to me when they are “not fine”, and I had to cosign their loans, or I guess they’d be working low-paying jobs or in the National Guard, trying to earn a GI Bill to attend college, instead of now finishing up their undergrad degrees. Still, it’s left me with a scary amount of debt and deprived them of a true appreciation for what it truly costs to attend college, pay for living expenses, etc. I’ve “tolerated” inappropriate emotional explosions, thinking that this is because they have not yet learned how to express strong emotions without the drama, and try to both model better methods and talked to them about this behavior when they’re calmer, but I admit, I get tired of being treated like an emotional punchingbag. I guess what I’m trying to say is, that as parents, we are trying to straddle two generations- what our parents did and the advice they dispense when they see how my kids are much more open and straighforward with me(“spoiled!”), and also living in a much different world now than when we were growing up (how can any 20 something earn enough to support themselves in this economy; there are NO jobs!), and struggling to find a path that makes sense. Somewhere in all of this, (believe it ot not teens), we are also trying to live our own lives and find our way! Parents too, have REAL lives, feelings, relationships, fears, biils to pay and the desire to live a life that has meaning to US!

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